3/15/2020
the one thing that hurts most about growing up and moving on, is changing myself for maybe the better, and dropping habits i had.
Basically tearing apart this version of me, and only keeping the parts i like.
It's so hard trying to learn to create the me I want now, when I'm almost 20, and I don't know where to start.
I can't even lie, there's a couple parts of myself that used to define me, that im going to be cutting out, and it's going to hurt me so bad.
But actual change isn't supposed to be easy or fun.
And as for learning to regrow those parts of myself to my@liking, and filling those holes, it's gonna be difficult.
Because when you realize that certain things have always attracted you, and never spoke up, im stuck here years later, not knowing if I can ever speak up because I'm too old or a faker or some bs.
I felt like I was stuck playing this idea of what people wanted me to be.
But I don't want to be stuck anymore.
I want to be me, loud and proud with no regrets
