Losing To Win (Lost Series #1) | Completed

Chapter 16

Win

Habang nagkukwento ako, gumawi na ang aking paningin sa kaniya. And the moment I saw her finally having what she needs, I stopped talking. Tanging tunog na lamang ng mga umaandar na sasakyan ang namayani.

She was sleeping.

As I got the chance to stare at her face, I realized how she was peace-deprived, just like how the traffic jam outside was taking over the cold night of October. Ilang buwan na rin pala kaming magkasama, ngayon ko lang napagtanto.

I heaved a deep sigh.

Upon waiting there for her chemo to finish, I felt like I ran thousand miles even though I was just sitting outside. Hindi ako mapakali. Tila humahaba ang oras habang ako'y naghihintay. Nakakakaba.

Gusto kong pumasok sa loob, tignan siya. Gusto kong hawakan ang kaniyang kamay, palakasin ang loob niya. But there was nothing that I could do but pray. So I prayed.

There's no pain too deep with You, right?

I prayed that her pain wouldn't be excruciating.

After 30 minutes ride, nakarating na kami sa labas ng subdivision nila. Like what I had expected, Aeia was already there. Nang makita niya kaming parating ay agad na siyang lumapit sa'min. Ibinaba ko ang bintana saka bahagya siyang nginitian.

"Win. . ." Her voice was low. And the moment she saw her best friend leaning on me--- sleeping, her lips parted and she immediately covered it with her hands.

Mapait niya akong ngitian saka agad tumalikod sa'kin. Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga, saka dahan-dahang inalis si Felicie sa'king balikat.
Pagkababa kong sasakyan ay agad kong tinapik-tapik ang balikat ni Aeia. Her shoulders were moving up and down, and the sound coming from her lips was full of sadness.

With tears flowing from her eyes, she looked at me and I was shocked when her arms enclosed me. Now, she was crying on my shoulder and I felt the urge to hug her back. I don't know how I would comfort her, when it was also breaking my heart to see Aeia being broken for her friend's situation.

Masakit.

Napalunok ako.

I don't know how I would encourage her, when I need encouragement too.

I just don't know why I was being like this--- why I was dragged into this situation in the first place, yes, I have the chance to quit and leave them. But. . .

Mariin akong napapikit.

Mariin akong napakagat sa'king labi.

. . . Hindi ko kaya.

Through the days we spent together, I already learned a lot of things from her. She always tell me I'd lose to her, but frankly, I never felt being a loser on our moments together. I was never degraded, but instead, I was uplifted.

I thought I'd be stucked on being like this--- aloof and an Elsa of my own world, but she came. The ice within me was broken, melted. She unknowingly helped me be out of my box. She brought the best in me, she proved me that I could have friends and be proud of who I am.

But, the situation we have was just too much. The one who helped me was the one who needs help now.

From the very first start, I know this would happen. That I would be afraid of losing her if I wouldn't leave. Nawalan na ako, kaya ayokong mangyari ulit 'yon.

"The doctors are undergoing a test on my blood after I got hospitalized last Monday. And there is a chance that, I have Leukemia."

But if I'd be given a chance to go back on that day, still, I'd make the same decision.