Losing To Win (Lost Series #1) | Completed

Chapter 30

Win

Felicie is a fighter. That was what I kept telling myself as I ran my way towards where she was. The annoying sweats were already dripping from my face and it was getting mixed with my tears. I couldn't care more anymore to the people I had bumped with. My focus was solely on her and my anxious self was losing patience already.

No matter how fast I run, it stil seemed that she was too far away.

My trembling fingers kept on running through my hair as the ticking of clock seemed too quick, quicker than my breathing.

But as I got where the elevator was, my mouth seemed having its explosion as it couldn't stop curses from coming out. 

"Putangina. Makisama ka naman!" My fist landed on the wall and I knew everyone was already looking at me. I even kicked the door of the elevator. Kaso tangina talaga, it wouldn't open immediately so I had no choice but to take the fucking stairs.

Putangina. Why wouldn't they just allow her to occupy the emergency room in the first floor? 

Napakapahirap ng lahat.

But as I got where her room was, I saw Aeia outside, sitting on the bench with her hand grabbing her hair and elbows leaning on her knees. And as I walk closer, the sound of her cries became louder, louder than my footsteps along the nerve-wracking silence of the hallway.

When my feet finally landed in front her, that was when I only felt exhaustion winning over me.

Tila ang bigat ng mga balikat ko. At nang mapatingin ako sa sahig, unti-unti na akong bumagsak.

Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang aking sarili at gaya niya, ang tunog na rin ng aking pag-iyak ay nagpapaingay sa paligid.

Hinayaan ko ang aking sarili na balutin ng takot. Gustuhun ko mang magtanong, walang salitang kayang lumabas sa 'king bibig. Walang katotohanang kayang tanggapin ang aking tenga. Kasabay nang aking pagpikit ay pagsarado ko ng mga posibilidad na. . .

Kakayanin naman ni Felicie 'di ba?

And with my eyes still closed, I kept on praying, I kept on praying that she'd survive.

Hindi ko pa man naririnig kung ano talagang nangyari, ngunit mukhang alam ko na. Even before, I already got hints of. . . of her cancer doing its job— to win over her.

But I was busy neglecting that, my mind was fixed that she was fine and everything was alright.

Kasi 'yon na lang ang kapayapaan ko. Ayokong. . . ayokong mag-isip ng kung anu-ano pa dahil masaya na ako habang kasama ko siya.

Kaso sobrang ilap talaga ng kasiyahan.

Hanggang sa bahagyang tumigil ang pag-iyak ni Aeia at sana. . . sana nanatili na lamang sarado ang aking mga mata at tenga.

"I-Isang b'wan na raw hindi nabuti ang lagay niya. W-Win, h-hindi niya sinasabi sa 'tin, hindi na naepekto sa k-kaniya ang treatment niya at. . ."

Napahilamos siya sa kaniyang mukha. "S-Sabi ng doctor. . . bone marrow. . . bone marrow transplant na raw ang kailangan niya."

And there was nothing I could do but to cry out loud. My shattering heart seemed bleeding already inside as my mind had absorbed what she had said.

She wasn't recovering anymore.

And I was so. . . so afraid of losing her. Ayoko nang mawalan.

Hindi ko na kakayanin pa. Ayoko na.

Parang awa Niyo na. 'Wag namang pati siya.

But upon praying silently, pictures of her flashed in my mind— triggering my fear of losing her. Everything was so vivid, her smiles, her laughs, the boasting in her voice, her grins.