Chase of Death

[45]

[Chapter 45]

I sigh and took a glance at the clock above the door which told me i had been sitting here in my bed for an hour. My room was freezing because of the wide opened glass wall. I wanted to breathe some fresh air to help myself think. Carver's words are keep on messing with my head. Questions after questions are continued to pop out to confuse me more. It's already half an hour before midnight and I'm here waiting for Carver to show up.

For the whole day i was thinking about what he wanted to show me. Is he gonna let me watch him kill someone? If that's what he'll do I don't know if i can handle that. It might bring the memories from the past that i wanted to forget.

I immediately throw my eyes at the door when Carver stormed in the room. Our eyes met and he sigh deeply. Like he doesn't expected me to be still up and patiently wait for him.

"Wear a jacket." He said in calm, unhurried voice. Sinunod ko naman siya at humigit ng hoodie jacket sa aparador. I was wearing a black pants and light blue t-shirt. I also put my hair in a pony to avoid my hair from falling infront of my face.

Isinusuot ko ang hoodie habang tahimik na nakasunod kay Carver. He was wearing a white shirt and black leather jacket. I wonder where'd he go. Umalis siya kanina matapos nang nangyari sa kusina at kakabalik lang niya ngayon. Napansin rin ni Matilda na wala siya kaya tinanong niya ako pero tanging iling lamang ang naisagot ko. I heard his car beeps when he click the remote key on his hands. He told me to get in and I silently followed him.

The silence filled the whole car. He's not saying anything neither am i. Saglit ko siyang nilingon and i saw him focusing his eyes on the road. Tahimik na lamang akong lumingon sa bintana at pinagmasdan ang madilim at payapang kapaligiran. The stars are visibile and brightly shining with the moon.

I saw a group of birds flying in the night sky. Flapping their wings in the coldness of the wind, i wonder what sound they are making at this hour. I noticed the last bird in the group, it was trying to keep up on the birds infront. He was trying and trying. No one was on his side to guide him on how to flap his wings for him to be able to keep up from the others. Then one of the birds slow down and fly with him with the same rythm. Up, down, up, down, up and down. I was about to smile for the bird's achievement but my eyes got widened when i saw how it stopped from flapping its wings. The bird fell and the other one can't do anything, it flew away from him and fly with the others. Leaving the other one fell in the high altitude.

I suddenly remember Carver from that bird. Just like the bird, he was also chasing for people he loves. They all thought that he was the one infront, leading them the right direction but little did they know he was the one that left behind. Carver was afraid to have someone to help and love him. Dahil nakatatak na sa isipan niya na lahat ng tutulong sa kanya upang makalabas sa madilim na mundo ay kukuhanin lamang ni kamatayan. Just like what happened to the bird, someone was trying to help him out. They're giving the love that he was longing for but he still choses to give up and let himself fell in the abyss where he suffered alone. He wanted to take all the agony and pain. Now i understand why he wanted me to forget about Mariele's death. He used to do that to his people. He wanted them to forget and let him be the only one who remembers the painful memory.

I looked at him. Why is he doing that to himself? It was all a lie. He's not strong and he's not brave because he was a total coward. He was afraid to open his heart to people, he was hiding himself behind that persona he created so people won't be able to hurt him.

But why? What tragedy did Carver face in the past to become like this?

The car stopped in the middle of a wide field of grass. Pinatay niya ang makina at lumabas na ng kotse. Mabilis ko naman siyang sinundan at inilibot ang paningin. We are in the middle of nowhere. Isang malaking lote na walang ibang makikita kung hindi puno at damo. "Where are we?" I asked.