Chase of Death

[32]

[Chapter 32]

I watched how the body of Mariele fell in the ground. Right infront of me. Mabilis akong gumapang sakanya at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

It was cold. It's cold! My tears began to fall when i see a lot of blood coming out from the bullet hole in her forehead. Her eyes are still wide open. From a shocking decision of Simon that leads to her death. Tuloy tuloy na tumulo ang mga luha ko as i closed her eyes using my own hands.

"Promise me Tara you will bake cookies with me."

No! Nangako ako. Nangako ako sakanya na sabay kaming gagawa ng cookies na siyang sabay namin ipagmamalaki kay Matilda. Her smiles. I can see her smiling at me while waving her hand. Ang masayang si Mariele na laging bumabati sa akin. How can they be so cruel?! She didn't deserve to die like this! She just wanted to live in happiness. Patuloy ang pagdaloy ng mga luha ko habang humihikbi. Sobrang sakit ng dibdib ko at may malaking bagay na siyang nakabara sa lalamunan ko.

Now she's gone. They killed a girl who can spread her happiness to the people around her! They killed the first girl who told me that i was now part of her family. They killed her! He fucking killed her!

"T-tara let's go." I felt a hand in my shoulder. It was Niall who also have tears on his eyes. Nanlalabo ang paningin ko at ang tanging gusto ko lamang ay ang makitang buhay at masigla ang kaibigan ko.

This is nothing compared to what i saw before but i can say that this is what truly hurt the most. She's not just my friend, she's my family now. Naramdaman ko ang paghila sa akin mula sa katawan ni Mariele. My sobs became louder as i felt arms embracing me. It was Carver hugging me and rubbing his hand on my back.

"M-mariele.." I said between my uncontrollable sobs. I felt like my heart is being squeezed right now. I can't see clearly because of the tears keep on coming out from my eyes.

I wanted to wake up from this. I want to rewind the time to stop Mariele from buying those ice creams. What am i going to tell Matilda? Anong sasabihin ko kapag tinanong niya ako kung nasaan si Mariele? We planned to go and buy some ice cream together pero nang bumalik ay ako na lamang mag isa? Sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko, I don't know what to do to calm myself anymore.

•••

Nagising na lamang ako sa isang malamig na kwarto at malambot na kama. Hindi ko matandaan ang huling nangyari, all i know is that i passed out. Mabagal ang ginawa kong pag upo sa kama. I'm in my room and I don't see anyone.

Inalis ko ang kumot na siyang nagtatago sa ibabang parte ng katawan ko. I'm still wearing the same shirt i wore yesterday. Tumayo ako sa kama at dumiretso sa banyo. Bago pa man ako makadiretso sa banyo ay napukaw ang atensyon ko ng malaking bintana ng kwarto.

Maliwanag at tirik ang araw sa labas. How long am i unconscious? Dumiretso na ako sa banyo para magsipilyo at maghilamos. Nang matapos ako ay agad rin akong lumabas ng kwarto at bumaba. The house was filled with silent. It's incomplete and i know why.

Pagbaba ko ay nakita ko agad si Carver. He's sipping on his coffee at the counter table. It is the first morning i saw him in the house. Marahan akong lumakad at dumiretso sa counter bar. I saw Matilda.

"Good morning Tara." Aniya ng tumama ang tingin niya sakin. Naramdaman ko nanaman ang bagay na siyang bumabara sa lalamunan ko. I'm about to cry again.

Yumuko ako at pinigilan ang sarili ko. Hindi ako sanay. The house feel so empty. Hindi ko naririnig ang masiglang boses ni Mariele. Inilapag ni Matilda ang platong may lamang breakfast sa harap ko. I look at her and i saw how sad her eyes is. She gave me a small smile before she go back washing the dishes.

Sinubukan kong ubusin ang pagkaing ibinigay sa akin ni Matilda. I lost my appetite because of this sadnessbut I don't wan't to be rude. Matilda went to the laundry room and i went to the sink to wash the plate i used. Tahimik akong umakyat ulit sa itaas. Pakiramdam ko ay kailangan kong ilubog ang sarili ko sa tubig para mabawasan ang kalungkutang nararamdaman ko.

Death is not new to me. I saw a lot of deaths. Pero iba parin ang sakit ng kamatayan. I wanted to see Mariele again. I wanted to hear her joyful voice again. Why do nice people died in the most unfair situation?

"I used to kill people to live."

Hindi ko na naitago ang kalungkutan ko. Bumagsak ang mga luha ko pagkahawak ko sa seradula ng pinto. Just the thought of me never seeing the bright smile on Mariele's face ever again is breaking me. Naramdaman ko ang kamay na humawak sa braso ko. Nilingon ko iyon at nakita si Carver.

"Stop crying." He said in a soft voice. He wiped away my tears with his thumb. Mas lalo lamang akong naluha sa ginawa niya.

"I-i can't, it hurts." I said between my sobs.

"I know, but you need to accept it." His deep and cold eyes were staring at me. "Everyone dies."

Bigla akong nakaramdam ng inis. Hindi ko nagustuhan ang sinabi niya.

"How can you say that?"

"It's the truth." He said.

"She died without having the chance to say goodbye! She died because she wanted to stay loyal to you, how can you easily say that?" Muli niyang pinunasan ang luhang tumutulo mula sa mga mata ko.

"Don't let it eat you, stop hoping she'll come back. It will only drown you in the ocean of misery." It's like Mariele's death doesn't bother him!

"You don't care about her death didn't you?" Inalis ko ang pagkakahawak ng kamay niya sa pisngi ko. Is it because Mariele is just a member of his organisation? Didn't he care about her? I thought this organisation thing is his family? Mariele was part of that family too! Mariele even gave her loyalty to him until her last breath then here he is saying that everyone dies? just accept it and move on?

Pumasok ako sa banyo at pinagsarahan siya ng hindi man lang tinitingnan. I don't know pero mas lalo lamang akong naluha at nalunod sa kalungkutan dahil sa sinabi niya.

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Kimonokun