[Chapter 46]
"Bullets..
..guns..
..bloods..
..and killings." He started. "Those are the only things that revolve in my life." Nagsalin ulit siya ng alak sa baso at naupo sa sofa sa harap ng kinauupuan ko.
"Killings and violence are also part of my life Carver." My eyes are locked on his eyes.
"We're different." He said. "So much difference."
"I may be one of those monsters you hate, Tara. I'm cruel than those monsters from your past." Muli niyang ininom ang alak sa baso at ipinatong ito sa lamesita sa harapan niya.
"No, you're not like them." Alam kong may dahilan kung bakit siya nagkaganito. I know he doesn't want to kill people, he just doesn't have any other choice left.
"You don't love me." Umiling iling siya sa harapan ko.
"Yes i do Carver." I said but he shook his head.
"You dont and you won't!" He said in furious. For a moment i felt my voice was trapped somewhere in my body. I couldn't talk. Nanatili lamang akong nakatitig sa mga mata niya na ngayon ay napupuno ng galit.
"I was only six years old when i kill someone." He stared blankly at the floor. "My father used to cursed at me whenever I'm hesitating to pull a triger or to slit someone's throat. I was raised to kill people." Tahimik lang akong nakikinig sa kanya.
"He wanted me to take revenge on people who make our lives a living hell." Pinagsaklop niya ang mga kamay niya at ipinatong sa magkabilang tuhod.
"The Lertex group?" I remember Matilda said. Tumango siya sa akin.
"They killed my mother who's on her way to our house to celebrate their wedding anniversary." I can see the anger blazing in his eyes. "She's with my younger sister that time."
"They killed her to show my father what he have done. They take my sister to make us suffer and start a war between our groups. Since then i never saw my father again, he changed." Naalala ko ang sinabi niya sa akin noong panahong umeepekto sa kanya ang maling gamot na ibinigay ni Niall. He said his mother died along with his father.
"My father died when i was 18, he left me with the whole organisation and all the responsibilities."
"H-how did he die? Did they kill him too?" He lifted his face and lock his eyes on me.
"I killed him." I felt my stomach tightened because of a sudden admission. His hands are balled in fist, his arms and shoulders are trembling because of anger. "I killed him to stop his suffering."
"He left me with no choice. The Lertex got him and injected him with something that will make him gone mad. He became someone who wants to die but can't do it with himself. So he's asking someone to do it for him. He didn't asked it like that but that's what he implied." I can feel his anger but also his pain. He went through so many things, now i know why he doesn't want people to love him because he thinks that he was a monster. His enemies didn't kill his father because they want Carver to kill him to hurt him big time. Because they know that if they make a wound that will last forever, it'll be easy for them to destroy him in the future.
"You didn't kill him Carver, you helped him. You know if you didn't kill him he will only suffer while he was still alive. You did what you think was right and killing him was the right choice for you. It made you more stronger and it will also help you in the future to be strong enough to defeat your enemies." He stared at me for about a minute. Tila ba hinahalukay niya ang buong pagkatao ko sa paraan ng pagtitig niya.
"I killed people Tara. My hands were stained by different types of bloods. Do you still love me?" He said while still looking straight into my eyes. I don't know why my head slowly nodded to answer his question. But i know one thing for sure, i don't feel any fear because of what he told me. Bumuga siya sa hangin at umiwas ng tingin.
"I'm torturing people for them to talk. I don't care if they had family, all i want is the things that they know. When they talk I won't still spare them, i will kill them mercilessly." Tumayo siya habang hindi parin inaalis ang malalalim na tingin sa akin. Bumuntong hininga ako at umiling sa kanya.
"I don't care about the count of life that you take, I don't care about anything you've done. I love you Carver and you can't stop me from loving you." Tumayo ako at hinarap siya.
"How can you love someone like me? Are you dumb? You're loving someone who is much more evil than the people from your past?"
"What do you want me to do then? Stop this? Hide this feelings?" He look away.
"You want me to hide this feeelings you planted inside of me? You are responsible for this but look what you're doing? Pushing me away because you're scared? You're too scared to open your heart for someone because you don't trust me. You don't trust anyone." My lips was pursed slightly and screwed my eyes shut because of frustration. He's being unfair if he will turn his back after my feelings for him grow like this, where it's too late to stop it from growing.
It's unfair because he know how i truly feel while me, i don't know. It's like he put me in a dark place and take out the last candle. Kumakapa ako sa dilim, ni hindi ko alam kung saan na ba ako pupunta. What path am i taking for chasing him. Him who keep on walking out of the door. Shutting me out and messing with my feelings.
"If you're one of those monsters then i won't run from you Carver." Pigil emosyong saad ko. Hindi ko napigilan ang mga kamay kong hawakan ang pisngi niya. Making his eyes met mine. "You're the monster that i am willing to be captivated."
"All my life I've been running from my death but this time I won't run." His face softened. "Because i know that you will come for me and stop death from killing me." I felt his arms around my waist and it brings a familiar feeling where i felt secured.
"You will leave me too when your love found a reason to fade." He said with full of fear on his eyes. Umiling ako sa kanya.
"No carver, the only thing that will can make me leave you is death. I won't die because i already have you in my side. You are now one of the reason I'm alive, you make me feel alive Carver."
"I don't know Tara, I'm afraid that one day I'll lose you too just like how i lose everyone from my own family." Nagdikit ang mga noo namin. I can feel my emotions overflowing in me. I closed my eyes as i wrapped my arm around his nape while my other hand was comfortably placed on his cheek.
"Don't be afraid Carver, i will fight this chase with you. I won't run and hide anymore, sasamahan kita Carver." I said and opened my eyes. He might had a deep and cold stares but then, i saw love, deeply hidden in his eyes. "Just let me in."
"I will protect you Tara, I won't let anyone touch even a single strand of your hair." A smile suddenly curved in my lips. I felt my heart melted when he also smiled at me. Inilapit ko mukha ko sa kanya at inilapat ang labi ko sa labi niya. Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata at dinama ang kasiyahang yumayakap sa puso ko.
Naramdaman ko ang kakaibang kuryente na siyang gumapang sa buong katawan ko ng tuluyan kong maangkin ang malambot na labi niya. I can even taste the liquor on his mouth but it didn't bother me. When he said i was safe on his hands. I knew he mean it and i will hold on to what he said. Our lips continues to move slowly and felt his arms tightened in my waist making my body more closer to him.
"Ay shit!" Agad akong napamulat at lumayo kay Carver ng may marinig kaming boses mula sa pinto. Nakita ko roon si Niall at Xiara na parehong nakatalikod sa amin.
"B-boss may sasabihin sana ako kaso mas importante ang labi ni Tara—teka pucha bakit nandito si Tara?" Agad humarap sa amin si Niall ng may nanlalaking mga mata. Hinila ako ni Carver sa isang pinto sa loob parin ng opisina at binuksan iyon.
"Rest. I'll take you home tomorrow." He said and closed the door. Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi magtungo sa malaking kama. Tanging kama lang ang nasa loob ng kwartong ito at meron pang isang pinto na sa tingin ko ay banyo. Naupo ako sa kama at wala sa sariling napangiti. Nararamdaman ko nanaman ang tila mga paro parong lumilipad sa sikmura ko at hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong ngumiti ng abot tenga.
____________________________________________________________________
Kimonokun
BINABASA MO ANG
Chase of Death
Acción[Completed] The most terrifying chase in my life is the chase of my own death. ••• After her traumatic past, Tarasandra lost all her will to escape death. So after being purchased in all in one auction by a unknown powerful man, Tara became scared o...
