~Love, Voices & Chocolate~

Breakup

I apologise if this chapter confuses you. It's a little messy (like its author 😘) and I tried to make it less rough around the edges but I'm sure it's awful, just like everything else I've written lol.

Okay, to be honest, altho it isn't all that significant, I'm not in a good place right now so I'm just gonna give up on trying (like I do with everything including my life) to make it better - cos I'm gonna be a shitty writer probably all my life - so well, that's why you're reading it now, I suppose. I'll find a better title later, too. Sorry again, you know, in advance.

Teeny Update: I just came to drop a song here, I'll get out of ur hair now hehe ciao~ 😘

MJ couldn't count the number of times she had cried. The breakup had made life a lot more difficult than it already was. Everything that made her smile while she was with Peter was now a constant reminder of what they had. She had played the day they broke up over and over again in her head but she could never bring herself to understand why she hadn't just been honest with him.

'I'm scared, Peter', 'I feel like I'm going to ruin everything, Peter', 'I don't deserve you, Peter' were just a few of the thoughts that went through her mind. Thoughts she couldn't bring herself to share with him. Maybe if she had, things would have home differently. She would still be with Peter, dancing around to a random song, talking or just cuddling with no words exchanged. Instead, she was - for what felt like the thousandth time - alone.

So, since you're pissed at him... can I get my delectable spideychum now, or...?

"Shut. Up," she murmured to herself, looking up at Peter. "Look, Peter, Spiderman, whatever you want to call yourself... Do you know how hard it was for me to let myself feel the way I do and care about you? Are you really going to end this after all we've fought through, together?"

"Why is it so hard for you to say you love me, M? Just three little words to make me the happiest guy in the galaxy..."

"We're too young, too different, I'm too messed up for you and it doesn't make any sense!"

"I don't give a shit about any of that!"

He really should. He looks so delicious when he's begging for love. He'll beg more when you let me have my way but I'll still end up devouring him either way, MJ. C'mon, Mitchie bear, please!

I said shut it, Ven!

Sorry, sorry, just trying to crack you up! Yeesh, can't you humans take a joke?

Returning back to reality, she replayed her Adele playlist, leaning back into her pillow. The argument had started off with Peter wanting her to confess she loved him but somehow, it had escalated from there. It got to a point where he was telling her to go find Mike while she told him to find Gwen or better yet, Liz Allen. At the climax of the terrible row, they both went silent after Peter told her he was tired of her shit.

When she, against her own judgement, asked him what 'shit' he was talking about, he told her she was constantly too deep within herself to care about him. He told her she was too standoffish, too much of a stifling, bitter machine to ever love someone so she didn't deserve to have his love. Fighting back the only way she knew how, MJ said all the things she knew would hurt him the most. Weakling, unlovable, danger to everyone around him, what didn't she call him?

She could still feel it now, the anger in his eyes as he told her to leave his apartment with a cold, mechanical voice. She practically ran out, terrified to look at him because she knew if she did, she would break down and apogise like she was supposed to. However, she had to remind herself that the break up was in his best interest. For Peter's sake, she was willing to do anything, even if it meant that she never got to speak to the one person that made her feel alive again.