Twdg | Luke and Nick | idk who to love...

Why are you...

As I watched Nick slowly make his way down the hallway, I didn't seem to get that satisfaction I so desperately craved. I probably would've ran after him, if It wasn't for the fact that I was just emotionally exhausted. I'm not quite sure about what really brought this on; I find myself doubting it was really to do with him. Sooner or later, I was going to blow, he just shortened the inevitable.

Still, it didn't exactly help untangle the tight knot in my stomach, that with every breath gradually became tighter. I looked over Rebecca and Alvin, still in their little heavenly bliss. A part of me still felt disgusted, wishing that they would express their love in a more private area. But another, bigger part of me felt jealous. Jealous of the fact that I couldn't have the non-caring vibe throughout me. Jealous that I couldn't be like Sarah, who was fun and oblivious to the real world. Jealous of Carlos as he had Sarah as a sister. Jealous, of Jane, who doesn't give a shit about anyone --- almost. Jealous of Luke, who's ability to change moods was that of a mystery. But most of all, jealous of Nick, for not having a mother. What I would do for that.

But then again, I should be grateful. Even if I am a terrible liar, I still am somehow able to bottle up my feelings, to the point where even I have trouble deciding whether I am okay or not. It stops me from thinking, but when I do, it just completely messes me up. It's a blessing, but in disguise.

I stayed like this until my ear picked up footsteps from the hallway. Moments later Luke appeared, his hand rubbing against his forehead. Behind him followed Carlos, then Sarah, who's hand was clutched tightly in his.

It was around about then that Rebecca and Alvin's little bliss ended, much to my contentment.

"What the hell happened back there?" She quizzed, examining Carlos' clenched jaw and Sarah's timid whimpering.

"That sick perverted ruskie got what he deserved." Carlos spat, his eyebrows so near to each other due to frustration that they almost resembled a unibrow.

"He's not sick Carlos, I swear! He's cute, sweet and funny and he's the only person I know who gives a sh --- "

"Sarah..."

"Dilly donkey about me, he loves me, he really does and I love him too." And I almost gag on my juice. I can't imagine Arvo 'loving' someone, I just can't. What I can believe though is that Arvo is with Sarah purely on the basis that no other girl finds him attractive, or in Sarah's case, 'cute'.

But you then have to wonder what Arvo is actually doing with a girl like Sarah, who is probably the most sweetest person I've met, but the put it lightly, the most stupidest too. You have to wonder if this is more of a lust than love. Though even then, I highly doubt Arvo would stoop to that and even Sarah isn't that stupid.

"I just don't trust him. He's new here and I haven't got the chance to talk to him, or arrange some ground rules about he's intimacy regarding you.

I really lost it then as I began to gag uncontrollably on my drink, desperately trying to transform it into a cough. Luke must've seen my plan, as he gently placed his hand on my back before violently slapping it back and forth. I looked up to see him smirking, confirming my prediction.

"I --- I think I'm okay now, Luke." I wheezed, in a bid to save my spinal cord. And everyone laughed, well except Carlos, who just rolled his eyes in disgust.

The bel rang to mark the end of lunch.

"C'mon Sarah, I'm taking you to class."

"Wha --- why?" She also whispered, whimpering.

"Because I don't want to you to bunk off with that --- deliquent." And I again had to squash my lips together to form a thin line to prevent myself from spewing. Luke of course being the asshole he is noticed and simply asked, "What's funny?"