Twdg | Luke and Nick | idk who to love...

Everything will be...

It's hard to run in a crowded environment. Everywhere you look there's people... Dancing, singing, eating, none of which whom seem to have any conception for spatial awareness. I found myself dodging hands, arms even legs at times, desperately trying to find a gap through the corroded pathway. Of course this was an advantage to Luke; I could already hear his footsteps and I could sense people turning their heads in confusement. It wouldn't be long before the figured out; Luke was a well-known guy and that meant that I didn't exactly come off as discreet.

I watched as he became closer, while my routes were becoming my strained, ultimately restraining my choices. I found it upon myself to crouch down, and it was only then that I saw my escape...

I started to crawl, my feet doing its usual job, my hands almost boosting the speed. I might as well have been one of those stray dogs you come across, whom somehow always ends up at the wrong place at the wrong time. All I needed was a bit more body hair and a tail, fixed between my legs. I ducked and turned in a desperate bid to avoiding the sharp edge of girls' heels, or the blunt stub of those trainers.

It was only when I had finally reached the exit of the hall that I could truly breathe a breath of relief. But the atmosphere soon changed as I observed Luke, still calling my name, desperately confused. I didn't think twice before grabbing the handle and shutting it behind me.

And here I am... Looking at myself in the mirror, almost in tears. I didn't think it would be this hard, returning to my broken truth, the memories, I didn't think they could be so abrupt in resurfacing. I held onto the sink tightly in a bid to stay stable, as I watched the first few tears spiral down my cheeks and into the basin. I couldn't do this... I couldn't --

I looked around for anything sharp, anything that take the pain away. I've heard theories that physical pain will make you forget about emotional pain... I've never understood how but... It just does... I could end this... All of it... But I'm too much of a coward to do that...

I remember at the party, when I was so close to slitting my throat, taking my life... When something... Someone stopped me... It was almost a warning, somebody telling me that my life is worth something, worth living for, that somewhere out there, somebody needs me. I longer to know what stopped me... Who... Stopped me, but... I can't remember... I press my brain cells hard together but all I can remember was the blood dripping down my arm, the excruciating pain of something ripping me. I somehow never remembered the light that shone over the darkness.

And that's when I realised... There was no point in giving up... No point in quitting... So what, I've been through shit? But who hasn't?

Arvo; got the most valuable thing stolen from him.

Jane; the most controversial person I know... Was a bitch, but all in all counted on me.

Bonnie; takes orders to avoid hurt, hatred, ultimately afraid of being left alone, having nobody.

Carlos; may be the worst brother in all known history, but looks out for his little sis, no one else there to do the job.

Sarah; as shitty and as unfairly as she's treated by others, always somehow has a smile on her face, spreading the disease to others.

Rebecca; was a total bitch when we first met, but has a heart of gold. She's made mistakes, but who hasn't?

Alvin; You could call him a weakling, but deep inside, there's a pair of fresh balls waiting to pounce... They just haven't pushed through yet (do ya get, pushed through...)

Matthew; sweetest guy I know. Gets stung and still acts like honey....

Mom; was tough all in all, made her mistakes, lied but just wanted the best for me, the truth to be out.