Twdg | Luke and Nick | idk who to love...

That's it then?

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Christa questioned, a cautious tone to her voice.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I replied, trying wrap a purple bobble around my unruly hair but failing miserably. I looked up at Christa for help, and she smiled warmly. I don't know how she does it; we both have similar hair textures, but whenever it's in a bun it looks neat as a pin. I always have half of my baby hairs sticking when I try.

Eventually with her help we managed to gather my curls into the tight knot. I took a quick glance in the mirror, and I wasn't entirely disgusted with what I saw, more impressed if anything.

I was wearing a plain purple blouse equipped with similarly styled jeans. My feet were equipped with light brown snow boots. It wasn't a fashion statement, more of a practicality for the cold. Besides, I was going for the casual look, nothing over the top. Because I had learned the hard way that dressing ott could get you the wrong attention. The very wrong attention...

I felt myself smile at my reflection, Christa meanwhile appearing in the glass.

"Ashley... You look amazing... But are you sure? After everything..."

"I'll be fine." I smiled reassuringly, but I couldn't help but feel somewhat distressed. It had only been a week since the truth had been let out, only a week since I found out my dad, the only person left I truly trusted, had betrayed me. A week and a day since I had got raped by Carver, cheated on by Luke, dimwitted by Jane, lied by Bonnie. And two days before that Nick had left me... I find myself wondering as to how he would react if he was there... If he saw the state I was in... Would be just leave me there? These are the type of questions that buzz around in my head, occasionally stinging my brain, which would explain my constant overthinking and headaches.

What made things worse was that both Christa and Omid knew. I couldn't help it; as soon as we'd arrived home and I slung my coat against the hanger I thought I could finally relax, be fine. I had looked up at them both for reassurance but their faces said anything but as their eyes gazed at my arm, a worried expression planted on their faces. I was then I blurted out the whole story... Everything... And I mean everything...

And it was then I realised, that I would never forget the horror in their faces at the mention of the rape. Christa's shock as she discovered that her one and only brother was being tried for murder. The way Omid's carefree happy atmosphere had suddenly burst into a fiery rage, almost as if a scorching sharp needle had pricked his ballon. I had never seen them like this before... So upset... So shocked... So angry... All at once. I felt scared, upset, but most of all, guilty. I didn't have to tell them this, I didn't have to put this kind of stress on them, I could've just kept my mouth shut.

They then began to ask me questions about the rape. Every word that escaped their mouths, every question that hit my ears, only just reminded me of my torture. I could feel my heart turning to ice, before slowly crackling... I could feel my head slowly spinning, reminding me of my drunken rage just yesterday. I could feel the blood in my veins speeding up, giving me that cold rush I always try to avoid. It was only when the questions became more detailed, requiring a more graphic answer, that I finally felt my heart shatter into a million pieces, the shards of ice puncturing my lungs, causing my me to rasp and gasp out for air. I couldn't take, not anymore.

"JUST DROP IT!" I screamed, and the whole house went silent. Even the cat stopped growling at me.

Omid and Christa just stood there, mouths wide open, not making any effort to say anything. They just stood there, almost like statues, their facial expression seemingly frozen in time.

"Just... Just drop it..." I begged. I looked down at my hands, which were shaking, almost like those earthquakes that devour buildings and take many lives. My legs were almost swaying side to side, like Palm trees at the beach, only with the wind so rapid that they were edging near the floor, millimetres away from snapping altogether.