As Luck Would Have It

Broken Record

  Tracy sat at her desk watching the clock. It had been hours since she spoke to or caught a glimpse of her boss. Lately, it seemed as though Miss Evans was distracted. Tracy worried about her. She decided it was a good time to go check on her and see if she needed anything. She knocked on the door and waited for Emma's permission to enter. When she walked in, Tracy was surprised to see Emma not sitting at her desk. Instead the blonde had pulled her chair closer to the window. In fact, she was not working at all. She was simply staring out at the sea of buildings that littered the city. She didn't even look away when Tracy entered.

  "Miss Evans?"

  "Yeah?" Emma answered. She had started an interesting game of seeing how many windows she count before she lost track and had to start over. Her mind was everywhere except work and she couldn't focus the way she needed to. Her lovers were out enjoying their day and she was stuck here, worrying about all the wrong things. Like Nicholas.

  "Are you okay, ma'am?"

  "Not really. No." Emma answered honestly. "I'm stressed out."

  Tracy was shocked by her candor. She usually recieved pretty surface level answers whenever she asked personal questions concerning Emma. "Is it about work? Is there anything I could do to lighten your workload?" Tracy asked.

Emma shook her head. "No. I just have some crazy things going on in my life."

Tracy bit the insides of her cheeks. She wished there was something she could do to help. "Maybe you need a vacation, ma'am."

Emma chuckled dryly. She couldn't remember the last time she had one of those but perhaps that's exactly why she needed one. "Maybe you're right."

"You should consider it. You work hard. If anyone here deserves one, it's you, ma'am."

  Emma looked over at Tracy for the first time since the woman entered her office. "Em-ma."

  Tracy smiled sheepishly. "Emma."

  She sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Do you want to go home? I want to go home."

  Tracy chuckled. "Um.. I wouldn't be opposed to it."

  "Perfect." Emma stood up and pushed her chair back to her desk. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have a great evening."

  "Okay. You too." Tracy watched as Emma quickly gathered her things and left.

When Emma finally got home and got out of her work clothes she laid down on the couch. She wasn't used to it being so silent. On the quietest days she at least had the sound of Delilah's page turning to look forward to. She stared at the ceiling thinking about how different life would have been if she grew up with Nicholas. She wouldn't be the oldest. She wouldn't even be the youngest. Emma would be the middle child. She knew middle child syndrome was a joke people liked to harp on but what if it was a real thing. Her life could be completely different. What if she didn't become a lawyer? Perhaps she would have been a delinquent to get attention from her parents. If she got sent away and never became best friends with Delilah. Never met Cyn. Never became a lawyer with the life she's come to be very proud of. Emma sighed. She was being dramatic and she knew it. She thought about Rebecca. She didn't take the news well. Of course. She was upset that their mom and dad never told them. She felt deprived of having another sibling. Was Emma not enough for her? They had a great relationship. So what, she didn't know her brother? There are worse things, Emma thought.

  She got up and decided to watch a movie. She searched through their extensive collection of DVDs and finally found one. She considered watching it on the tv but thought the laptop would make a cozier experience. Delilah's laptop was closer. She grabbed it but when she tried to put her disc in there was already one occupying its place. "Security." Emma read the hand written word. She knew what it was. She didn't understand Delilah's need to not only keep this footage but to watch it repeatedly. It couldn't be good for her. The nightmares were nowhere near as frequent or as intense as they were at first but they were still present. She still caught Delilah in moments of complete disparity. Having this recording of the incident couldn't be much help. Emma chewed her lip and debated within herself. She was responsible for Delilah now on all front. Body, mind, and soul. It was her responsibility to make sure she was okay. Emma took it upon herself to break the disc and throw it in the trash. There. The act wouldn't erase what happened but at least now Delilah could stop literally replaying her trauma on a loop. What if she gets mad at me? How could she? I literally did this for her. I'm her Mistress. I'm supposed to take care of her. She'll understand. We'll talk about it and everything will be okay.