Vanilla's Poser Girl

Chapter 15

Leigh

Gusto kong sapakin talaga si Van dahil  lagi nya akong pinag-aalala. Nakakainis na.

Sukat ba namang lumabas sya ng nakasleeveless lang. Tapos hindi man lang nagcoat or sweater gayung alam naman nitong malamig sa labas. She can easily catch coughs and colds.

Ang masaklap pa inubos nya lahat ng comfort drink ko kagabi at kasalanan ko daw dahil ang tagal ko umuwi. Ayan tuloy, she's having an upset stomach.

Buti na lang Sam is just nearby.

"Having a hard time dealing with her?" Tanong ni Samantha habang pareho kaming nakasandal sa counter  sa labas at nagkakape. Sina Terry at Van ay nasa kwarto.

Nakaopen naman yung pintuan kaya nakikita namin yung dalawa at naririnig mag usap.

"A good kind of headache this time."

Tumawa si Sam. "Alam mo dati nagtataka ako kung bakit napakakuripot mo. Don't get me wrong ha, but you really were so tight in handling your finances. Tapos yun pala binabayaran mo mga exes ni Van para lang hiwalayan sya."

"I'm just saving myself, Sam. You know how vulnerable Van can be. Ayoko lang din na gamitin sya ng iba."

"Why didn't you do it to Carmi?"

Napadiin yung hawak ko sa cup ng kape.

"I actually did."

Ibinaba ko yung cup sa ibabaw ng countertop.

"I talked to her nung malaman ko na sinasaktan nya si Van. It's one of our practice noon. Tapos I'm used to Van changing clothes infront of me pero pumunta pa sya ng washroom para magpalit."

"Alam mo na sinasaktan na sya ni Carmi even before?" Takang tanong ni Sam. "Why didn't you stopped her?"

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "Because Vanilla wanted it. If she didn't like it, she'll ask me if it's okay or not. But she didn't."

"Sana nilayo mo na sya noon pa kay Carmilla."

"How can I? Van is blindedly in love with that woman."

"Because Van thinks Carmilla is her Zero." Hinawakan ako ni Samantha sa kamay at marahang tinapik iyon. "You know I already had a hunch that you were Zero. If there's anyone who can understand Vanilla too well, it's you. No Poser can do that. Because to be able to deeply know one, you have to spend too much time para magkaroon ng deep connection. So how can Carmi do that? "

Umiling ako. I am really not Zero, Samantha.

"I'm not Zero, Sammie. How I wish I can be Zero. Edi sana wala ng nakaagaw pa kay Vanilla. Mas gusto pala nya ng Poser kesa sa barbie doll. How low."

"Okay." Sabi pa nito. "You haven't tried pretending someone else to test the waters? I mean, it's you Leigh e. You won't put yourself deep without testing if you can or cannot pull yourself after."

"What do you mean?"

"You may not be Zero pero siguradong you tried testing Vanilla if she can cross the line of her sexuality."

Gosh! That's Doctor Sammie. Buti wala si Grant kundi talagang kawawa ako. These geniuses are really something.

"Van has photographic memory, do you know that?"

Tumango naman si Sammie. Siguro aware na sya dahil sa aming lahat, it is Vanilla who can exactly do her weird arrangement of things. When we asked Van, it's simply because that's how she sees it. Hirap syang iexplain kasi ayun lang yung nakita nya na ginaya nya.