Ask Mal and Evie

What is the worst thing Evie's ever done?

Oh, this is super easy!

No, don't say it, please don't say it---

Evie turned herself into a dog!

And she said it.

It was the worst thing that she's done to herself and to me. 

Oh, it was so horrible. I had to go to the vet because Ben ran me over with his mo-ped and a thermometer was placed in unspeakable locations while I was there, and I ended up in the pound! It was just terrible!

As for the effect on me, she was the most irritating animal in the history of the Earth, and she licked my face with toilet water tongue, she pooped in the yard and I had to pick it up, and she tore apart every cushion in my living room.

But you loved me anyway?

Of course I did.

So I wasn't that irritating?

Oh, you were very irritating.

But you said you loved me.

That doesn't change anything about how irritating you are.

Thank you to @iluvrainclouds for the ask!