Diary of a Girl from Seattle

Caught Somewhere in Time

Dear Diary,

It's been really great to work as a paramedic again, honestly it's probably even better here than it was in New York. The station 19 team is so much more of a family than any group I've ever worked with before. They were definitely hesitant to have me there at first especially considering I'm only 23 and not a firefighter, but it helped to have Captain Herrera back me up. Plus Andy helped me get acquainted. I mostly hung out with her at the station for the first few weeks which meant I also spent a good amount of time with Maya and Jack. Most people at the station don't know that Andy and Jack are a thing but I know Andy too well not to figure it out.

On top of all the personal stuff I've been out on some really crazy calls. A few days ago we got called out to a structure fire at a candy store. Some of the candy got so hot that it melted and burned the store owner. I had never seen burns like that before and we had to think quickly and figure out a way to get the molten sugar off of his skin to stop the burns from getting any worse. Travis was in the aid car with me and we used cold saline to bring the sugar temp down and quickly got him to the hospital where they could safely remove the candy. Let's just say I haven't been able to look at gummy bears the same way since.

Anyway I've been taking a lot of shifts lately so when I had a day off I spent it at the hospital. Arizona brought Sofia to work with her so I got to spend a lot of the day keeping her entertained and talking about New York. Arizona thought it might help if she got to talk about NYC memories with someone who spent a lot of time with her there. I took her to a vacant hallway for wheelchair races, got ice cream from the cafeteria, and played pictionary in an empty board room; basically I did anything I thought would make her smile.

It was also trauma certification day for the interns. April kinda took over and let's just say the interns definitely learned about trauma... just maybe not trauma medicine. She kept throwing out twists and new scenarios doing anything to confuse and challenge the interns. April even got a hose out to make it "rain" on them. She really seems to be losing it and I'm actually getting worried about her. Honestly a lot of us are, although no one knows what to do. I tried to talk to her but she wanted no part of it.

I was about to head out for the night when I got a text from Maya: "Captain's down. Get to Grey Sloan now." I stopped dead in my tracks and read the message again hoping I got it wrong the first time. I ran to the ER but he wasn't there so I checked the OR board and saw that he was in surgery. I went to the waiting room to join the crew, took a seat between Maya and Ben and waited for Andy. She made it to the waiting room a few minutes after me and looked so scared. She asked me to go to the gallery so I could watch and send her updates. Up in the gallery I could hear everything happening down below so I knew before anyone else on the team that the Captain has cancer. I didn't have the heart to text Andy with the news so I let Meredith and Bailey have that conversation. I couldn't face the rest of the team knowing that they were still in the dark so I just went home. I'll see them all at the station in two days anyway. Until then I'll visit Pruitt, check in with Andy, and hope that no one asks why I disappeared.

-Mattie