Diary of a Girl from Seattle

Friendly Fire

Dear Diary,

The past week has been a loop of the same thing. I haven't had any shifts, so it's just been school, study, Jo, home, lecture Maya about talking to Andy, bed, repeat. It's finals week so I made sure I wasn't scheduled for any shifts; I knew I'd need all the time I could get to study. I had planned on hunkering down on the top floor reading room of the public library (it's one of my favorite spots in the whole city), but that plan changed. Only 2 hours into my first day of hard core studying, Alex texted to ask me to check in on Jo. He was swamped at work and the day before Link had gone to see her and was really concerned. He's seen her in bad shape, so for him to not know what to do, things must be really bad. A few days before I broke and told Alex that Jo had called me from Pittsburgh, so he was hoping that maybe she'd talk to me.

She didn't. At least not really. I borrowed Alex's key, cause I knew Jo wouldn't open the door, and let myself into their apartment. Jo put up a fight at first, but I just climbed into bed next to her with my textbooks. I told her that if she didn't want to talk that was okay, but I was gonna sit there with her anyway. She reluctantly let me stay there and I kept doing that every afternoon. Most of the time she didn't feel like talking, and she was sleeping probably half the day, so I got a lot of studying done. I just didn't know what to do for her; Jo is so clearly not okay, and whatever happened in Pittsburgh has really been messing with her and I think even with her sense of self. Whatever it is, I hope she starts talking to someone soon. Either way, she decided to go back to work today so that's a good start. Plus I had my first shift back after finals so I'm excited to actually be back at the Station. I've seen Maya and Andy at home but I've missed seeing everyone else.

When I got to the station I headed up to the beanery to help Ben study. Travis and I took turns asking him questions. After getting like 10 wrong in a row, Ben got frustrated and left, saying that he'd wait for Dean to get back haha. Maya had come up to get coffee just as Warren left so the three of us laughed as he huffed off. Travis turned and starting asking me questions instead. Not about medic one (which for the record I would have preferred) but about my dating life. I came out to Travis a while ago, but he's still the only one from the station, besides Maya and Andy, to know. He started asking if I've messaged anyone I've matched with on Tinder, something he is apparently very invested in since I let him swipe for me a few times. I told him that I'd been too busy and that I don't really like meeting people online. He then declared that we had to have a gaybar night. I laughed thinking he was joking but he wasn't and Maya immediately got on board with the idea. They started discussing which bar would be the best, comparing drink values and cover charges and music. Before I could object, they had a whole plan and told me that we'd be going out later that week and to invite any other queer friends I wanted.... This is going to be interesting.

Thankfully I was saved from any more planning or dating discussion when I got called out on aid car with Jack. It was a really easy call; some kid fell on his bike and needed stitches. His mom absolutely could've just driven him to the hospital herself but got nervous. It only took 30 minutes but that was enough time to get me out of the station and end all talks of my dating life haha. When I got back I worked on restocking the aid car and continued to watch as Ben got medic one questions wrong. I couldn't help but laugh. It's not like he didn't know the answers, he just kept overthinking everything. I told him he just needs to get out of his own head and he'd be fine. He has more than enough experience. As I was stocking and mocking, Andy came by and asked if she could talk to me. She looked frazzled so I immediately followed her out and up to the locker room.

Apparently she had walked in on Maya and Jack. She was really freaked by it and just needed to vent for a minute. But as she was explaining it all, she noticed that I didn't look all that surprised. I admitted that I knew, but that I had been begging Maya to talk to her. She seemed annoyed at first but I explained that I really thought that the news would be better coming from Maya, not me, and I really thought Maya would have talked to her sooner. She sighed, realizing that I was right, and said she wouldn't have wanted to hear from me. I asked if she was mad that I didn't tell her and she said no... she wasn't mad at me.

Before we could talk more about it, we got called out to the same structure fire that Andy and Sullivan had found and called in earlier. 42 was supposed to be handling it, but the situation escalated quickly. There were already a lot of burned firefighters by the time we got there and fire still wasn't contained. I was working with Dean and Ben to stabilize a patient with chest burns so bad he couldn't breathe. Medic one showed up a minute later and did exactly what Ben said he wanted to do. As the medic one team worked, I looked at Ben and told him I was right, he just needed to get out of his own head.

I turned back to the building and saw Ripley suiting up to go in and rescue the captain of 42. I prepped a gurney for when they made it out and went to stand with Vic. She was freaking out, worrying about Ripley. I never directly told her I knew about the two of them, but we both knew I knew. She was kind of frozen, watching the door, looking for him so I tried to at least make it look like she was helping me with the aid car so no one else would be suspicious.

After the fire was contained, Andy asked Sullivan if the team could stay on and do a double shift since there were a lot of firefighters down after that call. He agreed, but wouldn't let me stay. He said that I already hadn't been sleeping because of finals so he couldn't sign off on me pulling a double shift. I went back to the station to change and get my stuff together since I had somehow managed to leave textbooks and flashcards everywhere haha. As I was packing, I could see Maya and Andy fighting, presumably about Jack. I tried to slip out and get some peaceful time at home before they both came back at the end of the shift bringing all the tension and weirdness with them. As I made my way downstairs, the aid car pulled out and Maya walked in. Part of me wanted to just keep walking out the door but she looked upset so I pulled her aside instead.

"You okay?" Mattie asked, although the tears Maya was trying to blink back had already given her answer.

Maya shrugged, "Andy's really mad at me."

"I know" Mattie responded shortly. "She talked to me before we got called out to the fire."

Maya nodded. "Are you mad at me too?" she asked.

Mattie sighed, "No. I'm not mad at you. I definitely think you should've told Andy earlier, but I also think you already know that. I'm not entirely looking forward to being home alone with you guys for the next few days," Mattie laughed trying to lighten the mood, "But no, we're good."

Maya smiled, but it faded quickly as she asked, "I know I screwed up but... She's gonna forgive me right?"

Mattie nodded, "yeah I think she will... eventually."

Before we could finish talking the team got called back to the coffee plant to clean up after the fire. I took that as my cue to leave and headed home. I had only been home maybe 20 minutes before I got a text from Schmitt. He said that some guy had collapsed and he brought him to the hospital and when he got there they said that he was SFD. He wanted to let me know in case I knew the guy, said his name was "Lucas Ripley." 

I froze when I saw his name. I don't know what happened, all I know is that I need to get to the hospital and call Vic. 

-Mattie