Diary of a Girl from Seattle

Give a Little Bit

Dear Diary,

Things have been better with Maya the past few days. I haven't dared to ask about her dad, and she hasn't wanted to talk about it, but she doesn't seem as angry as she was the other day. Plus things are normal with her and Carina again which I'm really happy about.

Anyway, today was pro-bono surgery day at the hospital. I had clinicals at Grey Sloan this morning which shockingly hadn't been an issue. We're there about twice a week but never near the surgical floors or ER so I've been able to avoid most people I know. Plus I asked my friends not to talk to me while I'm there for clinicals haha. It was going pretty well... until today. Since I was already at the hospital, I was planning on staying after my school stuff ended so I could see all of the pro-bono surgeries. Grace, Jamie, and Enzo wanted to get lunch but I told them I couldn't, I had something to do. They seemed a little confused, and to be fair I was being pretty evasive but I think I would have gotten away with it if we hadn't run into DeLuca.

He's been working in the clinic for the past week or two after everything went down with Meredith and Carina sharing concerns about his mental health. Without thinking, he said hi and asked me to pass a message along to Bailey if I was heading up to the surgical floor. My friends, and the 4 other classmates near me stopped dead in their tracks and turned to look at me. Andrew quickly realized that he fucked up and apologized as he walked away. I finally had to come clean and explain to everyone my history with Grey Sloan. First they were mad asking if that's how I got into med school. I swore it wasn't; they were just my friends and sometimes I get to watch them practice medicine, but they didn't even help me study for my MCATs. Then they asked if I could get them in to shadow too or work with the doctors, and one guy even asked if I was ever allowed to scrub in on surgeries. That one made me laugh. I blew it all off and assured them that I wasn't getting any special treatment, we hadn't even been working with anyone I know well. Then I left and headed out to find Meredith, hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

As I was walking up, I ran into Bailey. I mentioned that Andrew wanted to talk to her but she said that she was already on her way down to the clinic to see him. I wanted to see what was big enough to call the chief of surgery down to the clinic so I turned around and followed her. Apparently DeLuca was worried that this girl was a victim of human trafficking, but Bailey disagreed. She said that the girl seemed just fine and, assuming he was delusional, tried to send DeLuca home. I agreed that he was speaking quickly and his mind seemed to be racing a little, so it was possible that he was manic and his mind was creating something that wasn't there. But he didn't seem completely manic to me. I've never reached full blown mania myself (I've only ever experienced hypomania) but I've seen it in other people and this seemed a little different. Plus Andrew is a really intuitive doctor, I thought it was possible he was on to something.

I was down in the ER with Meredith later on, when we heard a code violet announced. That usually means that someone is getting violent with hospital staff, but this time, it was DeLuca. He had put himself between the girl he suspected was being trafficked and her aunt and kept calling for people to detain her. The more he screamed, the more clear it became that he was definitely manic. A crowd started to form as everyone got nervous. Bailey and Meredith tried to deescalate the situation, and I went to stand next to Carina who was begging her brother to stop. She looked really upset so I wanted to make sure I was there for her. She immediately grabbed a hold of my hand and held on tight while we watched the whole scene unfold. He called for a human chain to surround "the dangerous person" and slowly everyone circled around him. DeLuca continued to put up a fight and yell at all of us, sounding more and more irrational as he talked and cried. Finally Mer talked him down and security escorted him out. Carina tried to follow but he blew her off.

It was definitely scary to see him like that and really sad to watch Carina try to deal with all of it. After talking to Bailey, Andrew quit and tried to walk out. Meredith stopped him, managed to calm him down some, and convinced him to take the suspension instead of quitting. Then he was sent home to get some sleep. Carina tried to take him home but he refused and just kept yelling at her and pushing her away. I was coming down the stairs and saw him literally push her back as he stormed out of the hospital. When I got downstairs, she was crying so I put a hand on her back and she pulled me into a hug. As I held her, I looked down at my watch and saw that it was almost 7pm so I asked if Carina had any moms in labor. She shook her head as she pulled away. I asked if she wanted to come over, grab some dinner and just hang. I mentioned that Maya would be home too. She smiled, wiped her eyes, and nodded saying that sounded really good.

I texted Maya as we walked to the car, giving her the heads up that Carina was coming over and had a really tough day. She said she'd order dinner and hopefully it would get there shortly after we did. We all sat around together eating and chatting and half-watching mindless TV for an hour or so before I excused myself to go study. I didn't really need to, but wanted to give Carina and Maya some space and time alone. They always seem to make each other feel better and at the end of the day, that's all I really care about.

-Mattie