Loving Her Soul [Book 1 of Loving Her Trilogy]

45 | Oh

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45

Oh

"I.."

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything, Achi." I stopped him before he can say anything. I know how brave I am when I uttered those words but as soon as I let out the last word I got so scared.

I don't want to hear anything from him. I'm scared to what he'll say and I'm not prepared for it. It sounds shitty that I'm okay with me conveying my feelings but at the same time I'm not giving him a chance to respond.

"I want to let it all out so let me talk." I said. Tumingin ako sa kaniya para tignan ang kaniyang reaksyon at para hingin na rin ang permiso niyang manahimik.

Nagkatitigan muna kami bago siya tumango.

Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ibinalik ang tingin sa kaniya.

My heart is already beating so fast and it tripled when his eyes met mine.

Shit.

Kaya ko ba 'to?

Kaya mo 'yan, gaga ka!

Okay, here goes nothing.

One more deep breath and I'm ready to go.

"I know I've already told you many times that I like you and I know that I'm just a ghost to you. Nevertheless, I've treated you like a friend. You've become a special person to me and you're the first person who saw me. I don't know how it happened, but maybe fate brought us together. Achi, I've witnessed it all. Your good side and the bad ones and with that, you made me feel alive." I smiled at him, showing that I'm really grateful to him.

"The time I've spent with you is something that I will not forget. Within those months that I'm with you, I've learned to love you. Hindi naman siguro kasalanan magmahal ang isang tulad ko pero it happened. I wanted to savor each moment with you but that's not the case. The reality always win. I can't help but to think that this will all end..."

"Are you saying your goodbye to me? You will fucking leave me?" he said violently.

I can see it all in his eyes. The hurt, confusion, anger..

Hinawakan ko ang kaniyang mukha habang nakatitig sa kaniyang mga mata. You're not supposed to have those feelings, Achi.

One thing I realized is that it was a mistake. From the very beginning, everything's a mistake.

"Achi, I want you to know that I'll always love you. I'm not saying goodbye, at least not yet.."

"What do you mean by that?" galit na tanong niya.

Kung hindi lang siya seryoso ay baka natawa na ako sa itsura niya. Nakakunot ang kaniyang noo at para bang anumang oras ay ihuhulog na niya ako sa kama sa sobrang inis.

"I'll stay with you for the time being but Achi, let's face reality. I can't be with you all the time.."

"The hell you can! Sinong nagsabing hindi pwede?" Napapoker face na lang ako. Seriously though, he should stop cutting me off.