Fate's Little Bell

Chapter 15

After school, I went to the address that he sent me. I took the train, trying to focus on my homework assignment for art, but wound up staring at a half finished self portrait as anxiety bubbled up within me, like a volcano ready to erupt. Why I was so nervous was unclear, and my attempts to reassure myself were fruitless. As I neared the stop, I put away my drawing pad and stood up, taking some deep breaths.

    I got off the train and exited the dirty station, rising out of the ground into a canyon of grey concrete and glass. Cold air swept through the streets, cutting through my duffel coat and making my shiver as I walked.

    The hotel was a tall, indistinguishable glass and steel building, rising up from the earth like a fortress, or maybe even a prison. Inside, the lobby was glowing warmly with the light from a modern attempt at a chandelier and I could see Jeongguk waiting for me on a white leather couch like he'd said he would. I hesitated, wondering if there was time for me to run away, to pretend I'd gotten lost, to go home, where I'd be safe and secure in my loneliness.

    He looked up and his face broke into a grin as he saw me. The bubbling volcano turned into excited butterflies and I started forward, pushing through the rotating door. The warmth of the room hit me and I unzipped my coat as I walked over to him.

    "Hey," he said casually, standing up with his hands tucked into the pockets of his light grey sweatpants. "I missed you," he added in a whisper.

    I stopped a couple feet away from him, glancing over nervously at the lobby attendants, who were watching us with curiosity. "Hi. I missed you too."

    He smiled and tilted his head, gesturing for me to follow him, and started walking over to the elevators. I hesitated, throwing a last longing glance towards the exit, then swallowed my fears and trotted after him, feeling like a puppy chasing after its owner. Or like a lamb to the slaughter, I thought grimly.

    "I'd kiss you... and hold your hand," he whispered, once we were out of the lobby attendants' earshot, "but there are cameras... and... I want to be safe."

    "I understand." I smiled shyly at him.

    "So... how was school?" he asked, speaking a little louder as he reached out to touch the up elevator button.

    "Oh, it was good," I replied, feeling suddenly like I'd had this exact conversation with my parents. "I'm only taking three classes this semester, so it's pretty fun actually."

    "Cool. What are you taking?"

    "Art, photography, and since we have to take some kind of gym class every semester, I'm doing Yoga."

    The elevator arrived and he let me enter first. He pressed the button for the 27th floor and the doors closed, carrying me further and further into the building.

    He shifted uncomfortably next to me. "Sorry... but talking about... your school... stuff...." He trailed off.

    "Is awkward? Makes you feel weird? Reminds you of the fact that I'm a baby?"

    He laughed. "Yes. Exactly."

    "Well, you're not alone," I told him, giggling slightly.

    The elevator stopped and the doors opened again. I followed him out and down a long hallway of doors, until he finally stopped at one and opened it with a key card. He went in and held the door for me as I passed, my heart pounding so rapidly in my chest he could probably hear it.

Jane, this is it, I thought to myself. The point of no return.

Behind me, I heard the door shut with a click.