Notes

Sanity - Mar 16

(content may be triggering)

Tic tok goes the clock
Never ever stops
Always ticking
Time is passing
While I lay here
And waste away
Tied down by the cobwebs of time
Tic tok tic tok
Each tick like a hammer
Tapping out my brains
Hold on listen!
Hear that sound?
It's the eyes
See how they glow
Bright red in the darkness
They're the only thing you see in the pitch black
So dark you can almost taste it
Tic tok tic tok
Someone stop the clock
Throw a hammer at the wall
Did I miss the clock and hit your skull?
Cause I see blood running down the hall
Tic tok tic tok
Tic-STOP
I'll rip the hands off the face of that clock.
Tear them from their sockets
With claws and teeth shred them till I'm free
I smashed it through the window
But the cold night air comes in
And with it carries the noise of the night
Tic tok
Still ticking
That sucker doesn't die
Thump thump
Still beating
My heart didn't stop either
Rip it out!
Throw it on the ground
Smash it into the stone
Take a knife and stab stab stab
Don't stop until it does
Grab a baseball bat and chase after the raven that sits at your bedside
Clawing out your eyes
And when you're done, bash your brains out as well
Cause the clock never stops
No the clock never dies
I can pull the hands back for hours and years
But I can't reverse the lies
Tic... tok...
Oh my ears bleed
Hide my head under my pillow
But the sounds bleed through
Crawling into my ears
Like maggots on a dead body
Oh that body?
It's been there for days
Get it out of here before they find us
Because they're coming and they will
You can run but you can't hide
Scent of death draws them
And I don't want them finding this little place of mine
I've spent my days befriending the monsters in my closet
I have parties under my bed
They're all I've got now
They're my family
My only friends
They help me escape
Drown my fears in scarlet
Trying to cheat fate
Say hello to the vampire down the road
He knows who I am
He's tried my blood
He says he likes the taste
Even let me borrow his knife
I spelled his name on my wrists
It looks so pretty there
All dripping red
He loves me more than my lover
The one that never cared
Want to see my collection?
Right there in that jar
It's half empty
Half full of human hearts
Thought I'd borrow them to fill this empty hole inside
But it's a black hole
It can't be filled
They just disapear
So I keep them stored away
I'll go back and return them all someday
Dig up the earth and put them into all the owners' graves
And in exchange I get their brains
Oh and their memories
Those lovely memories!
Filled with the ticking of clocks
And the terror of wasted time
The regrets of could-have-beens
The fear of no tomorrow
And a present haunted by yesterday
Tic tok tic tok
They understand
Only the dead can tell
How much it hurts
For every second passed
You can never replace the past
They're my friends
They can relate
After all
I've got one foot in the grave
My heart and brains are rotting away
The rest of me will follow
Tic tok tic tok
The clocks telling me it's time to go
But darling I don't want to
This moment is so sweet
You tears of blood just make me smile
You look so cute
Your face contorted as they pull you apart
Piece
By piece
...by piece.
And those pieces
Hey look!
Just like me
We're both now in pieces
Hearts of glass shattered on the floor
Dipped in scarlet
Each shard buried deep in our souls
Lets pull them out
Just to make each other bleed
Cause baby I just want to feel
Yeah, we all want to feel
Tic tok
That stupid clock
Is my blessing and my curse
See, it's there to remind me
There's a thing called time
And it makes things happen
Things change
Its a great force
We can't control
But always try to save
Oh darling I see you're crying now
Is this really that bad
I think I must have scared you
Hold on let me look in the mirror
I haven't seen myself for a while
I'm used to it by now
But for you it's all so new
Last time you saw me I was just like you
But that thing called time
Yes, it goes tic tic
It made me like this
What, you don't like this monster?
Oops sorry.
Well maybe this will ease your tears
Here listen to this
See that thing on the wall?
Don't mind the bloodstains
I tend to throw things at it
Just put your ear there
Real close
Hear that?
Tic tok tic tok
That my dear, is called a clock
Have fun now darling
Hope it tortures you the same
Just lay right there in that bed
Like I did many nights
Listen to the ticking of the clock
And the beating of your heart
Dont worry, those sounds will both soon stop
Oh wait, except the tic tic tok
Cause time never ever stops
Where'd you go?
Oh cmon, leaving so soon?
You're shaking like a leaf
Yes, the whites of your eyes are cute
When you're so scared
Oh don't be afraid
Want to meet a ghost?
He's quite a fellow
He'll show you the scars on your wrists
The ones that aren't yet there
He can explain why they'll appear
You see, he knows the future
He's been here for years
Listening to the ticking of clocks
And watching people scream and bleed
It's all a cycle
Never ending
He's seen it all
And he can show you
Want to meet my mother?
Just go into that room next door
Yeah, that one with the eyes
She's in the black jar
Bottom left
There's her ashes
Wanna try?
Tastes like life
At least normal death is more alive than my existence
And you wanna know why?
Cause that clock wont burn
Believe me, I've tried it all
Pills and bills and knives and lies
Nope, that clock is slowly killing me
Yet keeping me alive
In fact I think I love it
A crazy kind of love
It kills me but thrills me
Such escape in this pain
It carries me away
Sometimes I dream I'm in the clouds
Safely tucked away in his arms
And things were all still normal
But then the tic tok of the clock
Wakes me from my bliss
And reminds me why they're not
Other times I'm almost thankful
For that cursed clock
It wont let me sleep you see
It frees me from my prison
When my dreams haunt me
They remind me
Oh so painfully
And moan and howl in my head
I want to run from the past
But they pull me back instead
Now I'm stuck in their grip
The clock and the memories
Playing tug of war
One tries to pull me back
And the other keeps moving forward
And they use me as the rope
Ripping my soul from my body-
Bam.
Oh that feels good
Yeah, shoot me again
I like to watch me bleed
Want a machine gun?
It'll fire faster
At least guns don't go tic tok
And I'll kiss that bloody clock
Let it know I'm grateful
That it helped me lose my mind
Maybe then it'll decide
It's done with me
And let me have it back
But for now I'll lay here
On my deathbed of lies
Snuggling with the cobwebs
As the stars wish me goodnight
And darling before you leave and shut off the lights,
Could you give me a kiss goodbye?
And if you want to know
How to describe
My state when our friends ask how I am
I'll give you one word
Sweet and simple
This, baby, is called
I
In
Ins
Insa
Insan
Insani
Insanit
InSaNiTy
tic...tok...tic-......