The thing that makes me sad is that I don't know if you'll ever understand how much I love you. I don't know if you'll ever be able to grasp just how much I care about you from the bottom of my heart. Every thought of you is warmed with affection and I can't think about you without this feeling of complete adoration, even when you are being a complete idiot or you do or say something really scary or morally questionable. Even if something breaks my heart, I still always want only the best for you. Like through everything, I just can't help but want to fill your heart with the purest form of happiness and love and for you to experience that feeling and I just want the absolute best for you more than I want anything for myself. If you experience the way I feel about you towards anyone ever, I would want you to stay with that person for the rest of your life because it's really amazing and I bet you'd be so happy. Regardless of what kind of relationship you'd have to that person, I'd want you to be close to them forever. I honestly think the only one who loves you more is Jesus (shh don't try to argue) Maybe your mother, I don't know. Usually a maternal love is very strong, but I don't know your mom very well so I can't pretend I know how she feels. But if she cares more about you than I do, I still think I come pretty dang close. When I think about it, I really don't have any idea why I feel the way I do. You might scoff and say that love doesn't just exist without a reason, that unexplainable feeling is just a strong form of infatuation, but I really don't believe that's the case. And I don't even mean in the romantic sense. Yeah that's a big part of it too, but even if we were always just friends I still care about you so much. It's like, I don't NEED you, I could live without you but I don't WANT to. I don't need you in my life, but I want you in it. And honestly, the fact that I'm not just in need of you for the support that I didn't get from anyone else means that I'm not just overly attached and in need of a crutch. I know you probably don't believe me when I say this, but I really do love you. I just hope one day you'll be able to see that.
YOU ARE READING
Notes
De TodoA glimpse into my mind. These are notes from my phone, starting from 2013 to the present day. My poems, rants, late night thoughts, things I've seen and heard, words I wanted to remember. (Note: There is some content hinting at various mature or tri...
