SoKeefe One-Shots

To be a Hero

{This takes place during "Legacy" after Sophie spends a week trying to figure out if she can be  matchable but gets summoned to become a regent before she can talk to Fitz about being unmatchable}

"Anyways," she proceeded. "It doesn't look like Fitz or Keefe were invited. Ro wouldn't let Keefe come if he was." She realized that the whole 'Tam is supposed to kill Keefe' thing hadn't been shared with them and proceeded to transmit to Dex and Biana that she will catch them up once they got out of whatever the council wanted.

She tried to ignore the hurt looks on Biana and Dex's faces when they realized they weren't up to date on everything that was happening. Why did it have to be so hard to keep her mouth shut?

"Mad that your little boyfriend isn't here?" jested Stina, tossing her curly hair.

"I don't have a boyfriend Stina," Sophie gave her an exhausted look.

Again, she tried to ignore the looks everyone was giving her. Biana's frown was a clear indication that Fitz had told them what had happened between them. But they didn't know that she was unmatchable, or how much she yearned to have some semblance of privacy when it came to things like this. Even Della looked put off.

Sophie didn't know why it was that particular moment that secured her need to tell them how awful those looks and words of judgment felt. It had happened often enough, this time was no different. Maybe it was the pressure of telling Fitz knowing he was going to react badly or the knowledge that the butterflies that were lingering in her stomach from earlier hadn't come from the right boy.

"Wow," She said harshly. "I guess I deserve that, right? I see those looks on your faces all the time, the judgment you guys hold me to is unbelievable. That because you haven't heard from me in a week it must be because I'm off excluding you all from a fun life-risking adventure. That I purposely do everything to hurt you guys and I have no personal life to attend to." Sophie gave everyone a hard glare.

She turned and looked at Biana and Della, "and my god! Will you all let off about the whole Fitz situation! I assume Fitz was the one to tell you all about our 'big confession' right? I guess he left out the part about us never having a chance to talk to each other about it? That since that moment we have yet to utter a single word to each other about what we want to do next, whether or not there even is even going to be a we. But of course, if Fitz says we're dating then it must be true. Nothing out of his mouth is ever wrong right!"

Her voice was spuing venom, "I am sick and tired of having to explain every minute detail of my life so it is palatable for you guys to understand it. Is she dating him? Isn't she? Why didn't she tell us sooner? We deserve to be included! She should have told us about Keefe! Would you just SHUT UP? Yes! You all deserve to know what's happening with the Black Swan and yes, you should always be first in the loop to know but the Black Swan created me. I do not have the luxury of choosing to be here, I do not have the ability to leave when things get rough or things get difficult at home. This is all I have, this is what I am. I don't get to go home and disconnect from what's happening when I have a bad day. I have nightmares that show me every time one of you got hurt because of me. I go to sleep knowing that if I didn't wake up, more people would celebrate my lack of existence than not. At the end of the day you are all elves first, you don't have to question your identity and miss vital parts of information about who you are. There are people in this room who know more about who I am than myself," Sophie looked around the room at the faces looking everywhere but her. She knew that normally in these kinds of situations she would be the first to comfort them and take back what she said. She was normally a lot more kind to the ignorance of the people around about her situation but something inside her had snapped and she couldn't hold it back anymore.

"You don't know what it feels like to walk along the street and have people stare at you with such hatred your skin burns," she had transitioned from shouting to a more forced tone. "People look at me in fear and believe that I brought the Neverseen out from whatever hole they were hiding in before. Their fear makes them believe that this is my fault, which I have to admit a huge part of it is. Mothers hold their children tight whenever I walk by and men have spit in my face with their disgust. You wonder why I stay at home or distract myself with other tasks than the one that makes me into the person they despise, and the moment I have something personal going on. The moment I need time for myself, I am ridiculed for my arrogance. NONE of you have anything to do with what is happening between me and Fitz. Not one of you has asked me this week whether or not I was okay, all that mattered was that I didn't tell you".

She let out a long breath. "I know these past few years have been hard on everyone. I'm not saying that I am the only victim of the long list of abuses the Neverseen has against us. All I am saying is that it would be nice if you would just take a moment and try to understand that I am going 24 hours every day at full speed for the Black Swan and I'm tired of having to explain myself at every mishap or mistake. Sometimes I won't feel like telling you what's going on if it doesn't pertain to you. Sometimes I need a moment to remind myself that I will be okay, that I will continue to be okay even when things get bad. When this is over, if it's ever over, you will all go back to being the elves you always knew you were. I will still be the girl everyone remembers brought the war. I will still be lost about who I am. I will still be unmatchable." She noticed the alarm that went over Della's face.

"I have never lived in the Lost Cities when there hasn't been a war going on. Before all of this, I was human and I had a family that I lost. Coming here was one of the happiest and worst days of my life. I am just trying to figure out how to be a person on top of being your Moonlark," Sophie stopped as she felt her throat catch. The room was silent and it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

She walked towards the door and waited for it to open.

"Wait!" called out Tiergan. "What about the council? They'll be here any minute."

"Screw the council and their publicity stunt," She said as the doors opened and she walked through. "I am nobody's hero."