If Love Could Be The Cure We Need - A MakoHaru Medical AU

Chapter 8: Truth Be Told

Makoto Tachibana

I'm running a fever, at least that's what nurse Danuja told me when she brought me from the medical building to my room. I don't remember how or why I got to the medical building, but I vaguely recall Rin taking me there.

The bedding seems itchier than ever and I can't help but throw it off myself, only to get it cold a second later. My pillow is drained it sweat, but that's not because of the fever I think; it's because I had a nightmare just now.

I sit upright, immediately regretting my choice when a sting shoots through my head. My tongue feels completely numb, like a dead piece of meat in my mouth and my entire body is shaking but not from the cold.

I immediately lay back down and just as my head hits the pillow there's the sound of a knock on the door. I want to tell them to come in, but it causes so much effort that by the time I finally am able to open my mouth the doors already slowly opening. Rin appears in the doorway, there's a pitying smile on his face as he walks in. "How are you doing?" he asks, his voice soft and silent. "Has your fever gone down?"

I shake my head; my fever has only gone up, or that's how it feels. I open my mouth again, forcing my numb tongue to do its job. "What happened?" My voice is slurred, even I can hear that, and looking at Rin's face he's not too surprised about it. I don't even have to wait for an answer, because when Rin leans against the wall, his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, and glances away from me I know something bad has happened this afternoon.

"You had an episode," Rin mumbles, closing his eyes as he talks. "It was worse than the last few times, but I think we all handled it okay."

I wince when I realize that they had to see me go through that again. It's been the fifth time this month which means it's starting to happen more often than before.

"How bad?" I only now notice how dry my throat is, when I swallow or speak it almost feels like sanding paper.

Rin shrugs, almost as if he doesn't want to answer. "You forgot where you were," he eventually tells me. "Who we were too, I think."

I close my eyes and nod once; I'm not surprised, not even a little. But that doesn't mean I'm not scared or sad, I don't want them to have to see me that way. And most of all, I don't want to forget them even if it's just for a few minutes in a month, I just don't want it to happen.

"Don't worry." Rin's voice interrupts my raging thoughts and therefore also makes sure that I don't start crying on the spot. "I got you away as soon as possible, I'm the only one who saw the worst."

My jaw tightens, and even though I'm glad Rin got me away from the others so they wouldn't see, I know how painful it is for him to see me go through this too. It reminds him of... of things he'd rather forget.

"Thank you," I mumble, but I think telling him I'm sorry would be the better thing to do. Rin just stands there and shrugs off what just happened, but I know somewhere deep down he's worried too and sad.

I'm about to change the subject when it hits me; Haruka was there too. I haven't told Haruka about my episodes, my disease... he doesn't know.

"Rin?"

"Uh-huh?" Rin's eyes glance at me and it's almost as if he already knows what I'm going to ask by the time I get my tongue to allow me to talk. I ask Rin about Haruka's reaction, whether anyone told him yet.

"No," Rin says. "He doesn't know yet, but I think you should tell him."

I nod, but I wouldn't know how. It was easy to tell Rin and Nagisa and Rei, because I didn't know them when I told it; but Haruka, he still remembers me from the time where my life hadn't yet been shortened down to only a couple of months left remaining.

"How?"

Rin shrugs and tells me that no matter what I should find a way to explain everything to him, because it sucks even more if you find out through experiencing what's going on. He's speaking from experience himself, so if someone knows what Haruka and the others are going to feel like it's Rin.

"I can help you," Rin suggests. "If you want I can break the news to him, tell him the basics of what being befriended to someone who's experiencing what you're going through is going to be like." He pauses, taking a deep breath. "But explaining what everything means, what you're going through... that's up to you, Makoto."

I nod again, thanking him for wanting to help me.

After that Rin asks if he can do anything else, but quickly has to excuse himself when he bursts into a coughing fit. He walks into the hallway, but I can hear his dry coughs through the thin walls.

I wait, glancing around the room while I listen to Rin's coughing and try not to worry. I find distraction by looking at the pictures I stuck to my window using the most colorful tape I could find. It's one of the few things that make my room look less depressing.

When I hear the door opening again, I turn my head to Rin and as our eyes meet he asks, "So, you want me to tell Haruka?"

I nod. "Yes." I pause, but not because I'm hesitating. I'm sure of it, no doubt, because Haruka has to know that painful fact about me.

And just as Rin nods and is making his way out of the room. I shoot him a quick "thank you", because the way he's helping me with this... it means the world to me.