If Love Could Be The Cure We Need - A MakoHaru Medical AU

Chapter 17: Carnival Hearts

Haruka Nanase

Today's activity truly surprised me; we're going to the carnival just outside of school ground. What also surprised me is that Makoto's allowed to come with us, seeing what happened yesterday evening at Rei's room.

I'm still not completely calmed down because of it and it took me long before I fell asleep last night. But Makoto seems to be doing fine, I don't even think he remembers what happened. But I sure remember, every last detail to be more specific, the vivid images kept replaying in my brain while I lay in bed not long after what happened.

The way Makoto's voice slurred, I can still remember it clearly, and the way he moved and looked at us; it scared me how different it was from how he's acting now. His speech is still a little slurred, but not as much as yesterday, but other than that he's all back to normal. Maybe he's even looking better than he looked the past days, less pale and tired.

We're all getting out of the bus when we arrive at the fun fair, just a few minutes away from the school. Everyone's here, except for Rin. If I have to guess, I think Rin has taken a sick day off, because he also skipped breakfast this morning and if I remember his words of yesterday correctly he thought something was off after Makoto kicked him against the chest.

Part of me thinks Rin's absence has to do with that, but the other part of me also thinks Rin might've just not been feeling like going to a busy carnival.

I get out of the bus as well and only now notice how crowded the fun fair is. It's very busy, many teenagers, kids and parents are wandering around the grounds of the fun fair. But it's not by far as busy as it'll be later this afternoon.

The music is loud and while the nurses and teachers try to explain everything about today's activity I can barely hear them over the music and screams.

They give us passes so we can pay for the attractions, foods and claw machines without actually spending our own money. Because since it's a school activity they'll be paying for us.

After that we're allowed to do whatever we want for three hours straight. Nagisa's the first to speak, telling us how badly he wants to get to some of the clawing machines. He takes Rei there immediately, and Makoto and I follow them with a little less pace.

We walk past the little stands and every once in a while I glance at Makoto. He's silent, and I honestly have no idea what to say. I want to say a lot; I'd want to ask him about yesterday, but also not. But more than anything I want him to know what kinds of loops my heart has been doing the couple of past days since I've met Makoto for the second time.

It's strange, because I didn't have this feeling when we first met years ago. Back then I just saw Makoto as a friend, but now that feeling has changed. As if every time our eyes meet my heart skips a beat and my stomach flips and fills up with butterflies.

"Makoto?" I ask, his name just spills from my lips so easily. But when his bright green eyes meet mine I immediately regret saying his name out loud.

I want to tell him about the way my heart skips when he's nearby, but I can't.

"I-is something wrong?" Makoto asks, worry can be read from his face.

My face feels warm, I'm pretty sure I'm blushing. While his eyes shift from my left eye to my right I feel fluttering in my stomach; I'm not rid of the feeling.

"Uhm," I stammer, glancing away to try to hide the fact that I'm turned redder with every second that passes.

I want to tell Makoto about my feeling, I want him to know so badly. But somehow the words refuse to leave my mouth, leaving me with only stuttering sounds and a red face.

"Uh," Makoto replies, his eyes searching mine. "Are you okay, Haruka?"

I open my mouth again. My eyes shoot to the ground where I focus on a piece of chewed gum which has been stuck to the pavement for probably quite a while.

I swallow, but my throat feels tighter than usual. How am I going to tell this to Makoto?

I press my lips together and prepare for the words to finally leave my mouth. But when my mouth opens and I gaze meets Makoto's beautiful eyes I chicken out.

"Shall we, uhm," I stammer, looking around me searching for something to distracts him from this awkward moment. "Shall we get some cotton candy?"

At first Makoto seems confused, but eventually he smiles at me and says, "Yes."

But as we walk to thestand, all I can think of is how disappointed I am in myself.

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Get ready!

Since this chapter was so short, I'll post the next chapter as well :)

Love, Noa

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Next Chapter:

How to say you have feelings for someone... or how not to?