If Love Could Be The Cure We Need - A MakoHaru Medical AU

Chapter 18: I Wouldn't Mind

Makoto Tachibana

Being at a fun fair is always fun. There's always stuff to do, so we're enjoying ourselves.

It's strange that Rin isn't here, because he didn't let me know that he would be absent, nor has he seemed sicker than usually the couple of past days.

But other than that everyone's acting normal; Haruka's just as silent as ever, but every once in a while I catch him stealing glances at me and when our eyes meet he starts blushing. I wonder what that is about, but I just hope it has nothing to do with what happened yesterday.

I can imagine that I made him feel awkward if it really was as bad as nurse Danuja told me. He must've seen some things he shouldn't have to see.

Now again, he's stealing glances at me, as the four of us get in the cue for the Ferris Wheel. It's the last, and only, attraction I'm going on. I haven't been on anything else, because I'm afraid something happens while I'm on the ride, but not much can go wrong in the Ferris Wheel.

Even Rei can join us on this one, because when we're at the front of the line we ask whether they can pause the wheel so Nagisa can help Rei from his wheelchair onto the Ferris Wheel's seat.

This is possible, so when it's our turn to get onto the ride they pause it for just a minute so Rei can get in. Nagisa and Rei go in one cabinet and Haruka and I get into the next one.

I can hear Nagisa and Rei talking to each other in the cabinet above us, but Haruka and I are both silent as we slowly move up. I'm enjoying the view; it's amazing how every human being looks so small when you're floating above them.

I wish all my problems were as small as the young kids who're pressing themselves through the crowd to get to the clawing machines. But they aren't, not at all times, but at the moment they might be.

I clear my mind and slowly breathe in the lukewarm fall air. It's clearly fall, the trees are wearing their orange leafs and it's getting colder with every day that passes. The yellow and red and orange of the leafs make the view even prettier than it would be in any other time of the year.

When I glance at Haruka, I see that he's not enjoying the view. His eyes are watching me and even though he looks away when I glance at him, I still notice that he's watching me from the corner of his eye.

Both our body's shock when the Ferris Wheel suddenly stops moving, right when we're at the top. I hear Nagisa and Rei laughing about it, but I'm not all that excited about a ride breaking when we're on it and have to get back to the bus in not that long.

When our cabinet has stopped swaying from the left to the right, I look back at Haruka. His head is turned away from me, which means he probably doesn't feel like talking, but I have to know why Haruka's been acting off all day.

"Haruka?" I say, my speech is quiet and still a little slurred from yesterday. "Do you feel awkward about what happened yesterday?"

Haruka turns his head to me, his eyes search mine and when they meet mine I add, "I mean, it's like you're not yourself."

Haruka shakes his head and glances at his lap. Before I can think of another thing to say, I notice that Haruka's cheeks are turning completely red again. I don't remember him blushing easily when we were younger, but his cheeks go pink every time I talk to him lately.

"Is there, uh." I don't know how to ask what's going on. It's like my thoughts are letters that aren't forming into words and sentences. "Is there another reason why you've been acting a little awkward today?"

Maybe it has to do with Rin being absent, I wonder. It could be that Haruka's just as worried that I am, maybe it's just that he shows it and I don't. But that seems out of character for someone like Haruka, he's not the type of person whose emotions can be read from his face.

"Well," Haruka mumbles, turning his face even further away from me. "I-I, uhm."

I glare at him while I wait for what he's going to say, but when he goes silent for a moment I doubt he's ever going to say anything at all.

"Haruka?" I ask, when Haruka's been quiet for a while. I wonder if maybe he got bad news from doctor Daiki, or whether something happened while I was sleeping.

Haruka slowly turns his head back to me, he's completely flushed. His voice is quiet and almost inaudible when he whispers, "I-I have f-feelings for you."

I frown, confusement is taking over for a second. I don't know why he has to make such a big deal about it.

I smile, glad it wasn't something bad, like him doing worse than when he just got here or something like that. Haruka smiles back, but just very slightly.

"I have feelings for you too," I answer, closing my eyes as I smile even wider.

I hear a short gasp, I don't know what for, but when I open my eyes Haruka's face is even redder than before.

"Really?" he asks.

"Yeah," I reply, confused about why he's so surprised about that. "We're best friends, of course I like you!"

Haruka's eyes meet mine and his mouth slightly opens. It closes again and Haruka's face suddenly saddens. I wonder if maybe there was a "but" and I just talked right over it.

All of a sudden I want to take back all of my words, because maybe Haruka's feeling bad now. Maybe he wanted to tell me that after what he saw yesterday he thinks we can't be friends, that what he saw was so painful he doesn't want to ever be near me again.

I feel a lump in my throat, my eyes move away from Haruka and all I want is for this ride to continue so I can escape this conversation. I just don't want to hear what Haruka has to say, and it's all for selfish reasons; because I want to be his friend, I need him to be beside me.

"We're best friends?" Haruka mumbles, possibly to himself. "No."

I close my eyes and swallow. I knew this was going to happen, I just felt it; I've been feeling it all day long. Haruka doesn't want to be best friends, he doesn't want to be to me like Rin and Nagisa and Rei. The opposite, he can't be friends with someone like me.

My eyes are focused on my lap while I await Haruka's confession; that he doesn't want to be near me anymore. But it doesn't come, there's just silence.

Until I look up, my eyes meet Haruka's again. There's a tiny shimmer over his eyes and I wonder if it's tears or just a natural thing that comes to Haruka's bright blue eyes.

My cheeks get warmer, for some reason, when Haruka opens his mouth. His lips part just slightly and his cheeks get so much more flushed.

"No, Makoto," he whispers. "I mean I love you."

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I hoped you enjoyed reading the second chapter of today :)

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Next Chapter:

Does "I wish you were gay" say enough?