How God Called It [Being Edited And ON HOLD]

Together But Apart

[Inner's POV]

It's a new year, new beginning, new me, new blah blah blah. The list goes on. But same old, relationship. Not that I'm complaining, but what I really mean is same old treatment. However this year, I'm setting my priorities straight. Starting off with my schedule. (Without mentioning the obvious things like waking up, bathing, doing homework and so forth).

Mondays: Attend school, RCL/SRC meetings and go home.
Tuesdays: School, church leader's meeting, get home around eight to nine at night.
Wednesdays: School, home, host homecell.
Thursdays: School, debate team, get home, go for church choir practice for the first service then get back home.
Fridays: School, walk home with boyfie (Depending on his availability), get home, last Fridays go to night prayers.
Saturdays: School (yeah as a matriculant it's a norm). Church choir practice for the second service, head home.
Sundays: Go to church (Arrival time: 07:30 for the choir) for first service. Service starts at 08:30, ends at 10:00, wait for the second service starting at 11:00 ending at 12:30. Arrive at home around 12:50. Get ready for evening practice starting at 16:30, service starts at 18:00 ends at 20:00. Get home, take a nap then wake up to study and repeat into the new week.

Boy!.. Were not my priorities set straight? Yeah. I was the personification of exhaustion, but I enjoyed it because I did what I loved. Even though the topic of death and funerals are touchy, I told the ones I love that: "Should I die at church or a church event, at school or a school event, bungee jumping, sky diving or in a plane crash, try not to weep, wail or sobb for me. Because I died being at a place, or doing something I loved."

Despite the busy schedule I had, I made time for Thanksgiven. I checked up on him during school breaks, I offered to pick him up at his place before school starts, woke him up in the morning, studied with him mutual subjects, met with him after practices on Saturdays and made sure I was alive at every moment but still.. That wasn't enough.. 'Maybe I was too much.' I sighed at that thought.

He kept on seeing that girl, she kept on making brief appearances in my class just to rub her curvaceous figure in my face. Not that I'm not like her, but I realized that body wise I'm like her, manner wise? I had principles, she didn't. But boy she enjoyed making my life a living hell. I eventually lived with it.

My boyfriend and I on the other hand, we're together but apart. In a relationship, with the status neither:
Single, married, divorced (as other people thought we were married) nor widowed but "COMPLICATED". It really was like we both were waiting for the person who brought us together to die then break up. The word misery would be an understatement to how the relationship was.

We kept on being together for the wrong reasons. Like how we met or came to be. Yeah, it was cray cray if you ask me. With him being my Deputy Head Boy in 2012 and me.. Well a bit obvious🤷🏼, to him literally switching between school trips in 2013 just to be on the one I was going to. He had already paid for the first one but still made a way to be with me and approached me. I mean we had met in 2011 at a school trip, but I despised his behavior. I guess I have it in me to do such things before falling for a person'. I smiled a little at that thought.

The other reason was the trauma we went through in 2014. We were mugged, both my mobile phones were taken together with his. The possibility of me being raped daylight in front of him. To the romantic valentine we shared, where both our presents were bought by our parents. His: a phone, mine: night wear. We were hanging on to those memories and all that jazz. Yeah, it really was a rollercoaster ride. But we survived it all. We told ourselves that the bond would be strong, the bond was strong but someone kept on hammering it down.

I started feeling worthless to be honest. Nothing I was doing was right. But everything I did was wrong and everything I thought.. Was wrong. I couldn't keep up with the torture. I'd say we were basically together because of his mom and sisters and he made it clear. Not by words, but by actions. I saw it, felt it, lived with it.. But the final nail? I made peace with it.

There are but a few reasons why would a girl be in a relationship of whatever nature with a guy that has a girlfriend..

1. The girl is willing to cheat with the guy.
2. The guy lied to the girl about his relationship status.
3. The girl had a vendetta against the girlfriend.
4. The guy simply wants out, but can't bring himself to say it to the girlfriend.
5. The guy wants to give the girlfriend reason enough for her to leave.
6. The mistress and the guy both enjoy the thrill that come with sneaking around.

In my case, all of them applied. It was only January but I felt the pressure in this relationship. Not the one to step up, but the one to pick the bits and pieces of my heart. My boyfriend is playing my heart like a soccer ball. He bounces it on his foot and when tired, he tosses it into the goal post and celebrates.

We are together but apart. Slowly but surely, I'm making peace with it. Though, little does he know.. When a woman regains consciousness of her worth.. Hell would freeze if she ever let herself down again. Only little does he know.

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Hey guys.
I'd like to apologize for the emotionless chapter. Will do better next time.
Predictions on Teenah? (Character's ship name)

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Thank you for reading.🤗

Much love.
❤️❤️❤️