The softest content you'll get

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The same day, Hastur's room...

Eli: *sighs heavily*

Hastur: Are you okay, Eli?

Eli: Yeah... I'm just a bit stressed and frustrated... Like, why are so many people dying? And so fast?

Hastur: Don't be too upset... That's just how life works...

Eli: It's so unfair...

Eli: *about to have a breakdown*

Hastur: Okay, how about I cheer you up however you'd like? You tell me what you want and I promise to do it, no matter what it is.

Eli: That... Sounds nice...

Hastur: Right? So, what do you want to do? I'm even willing to do anything sexual.

Eli: That was... Extremely straightforward... I don't really want to do that just yet... I mean, we're not even married!

Hastur: I know, but it can't hurt to just sin a bit...

Eli: I still don't know...

Hastur: Fine, fine. I just said I'm willing to do it, if you really wanted to.

Eli: Thanks for respecting my decisions.

Hastur: Of course. Then, what would you like?

Eli: Actually, I take back what I said about nothing sexual. C-C-Can... I pet... Your.... I can't believe I'm saying this... Your yiddies?!

Hastur: My WHAT?!

Eli: Your yiddies!

Hastur: My yiddies?

Eli: Yeah, like, these...

Eli: *lifts his shirt and points to his nipples*

Hastur: Oooh, titties.

Eli: Yeah, them. Can I pet them?

Hastur: Sure. Wait- PET them? What the heck?! And! My octopus form has no titties...

Eli: *hides his blushing face with his hands*

Eli: Then change to your human form...

Hastur: Aww, look at you~

Eli: Don't tease me!

Hastur: *changes into a human*

Hastur: It's your lucky day, you cutie pie. I'm only wearing my cloak, so~

Hastur: *slowly takes off his cloak, first showing only a shoulder*

Hastur: Feeling seduced~?

Eli: Very. Ah, this is kinda scary...

Hastur: *chuckles*

Hastur: Don't worry, nobody is getting harmed. And after a while, you'll get used to it~

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