Bangtan Imagine (and Sprite)

There's no happy pills (YG/Pt. 2)

trigger warning: several sensitive mental health topics

Yoongi had fallen asleep on his desk at the studio, he was exhausted and his body ached from not being able to properly rest. The promotion of the album had started and the band had several places to go today, you had stayed home and your boyfriend had instructed you to call him at fixed times so he would know you were fine.

He opened his eyes when someone rubbed his back. He looked up to see Namjoon - we have to go to the radio station - he said with his eyebrows furrowed in concern. Yoongi yawned and nodded as he got up from his chair and took his phone to look at the time. What do we have after this? - he asked trying to calculate how much time you had to be alone. The photoshoot for the tour, then we are done for the day - Namjoon replied. Yoongi hummed and took his jacket - okay, let's go.

It was now 2 p.m. and they were heading to the location for the photoshoot, you were supposed to call, but after 15 minutes of waiting he dialed your number impatiently. You didn't pick up any of the three times he called. He had a bad feeling about this, he had set the times to make it easier for you, so that you didn't have to think about it.

Yoongi was visibly distressed when they arrived, Jin offered to have him start with his portrait photos instead of him. He gratefully accepted and did his best to help the photographer get the best shots as soon as he could. While he was waiting for the crew to put together the set up for the group photos next, he tried calling again. The phone rang in his ear with no answer, the ringing pounded in his head intensifying his migraine.

Worried about him, they tried to cooperate for Yoongi to be able to leave as soon as possible. He was understandably not in the mood to deal with anyone or anything anymore. Thankfully the theme fit his daunting expression and he pulled it off effortlessly. A car was waiting for him as soon as he was done, the band saw him run out of sight as soon as the photographer gave him the okay. They also had a bad feeling about whatever was going on with you.

When your boyfriend arrived into the apartment, he hurried up to your room. You were laying on your stomach, your arms pressed against the crimson stained sheets. He turned you on your back desperately and you flopped exposing the multiple deep cuts all along them. Many more than he had ever seen. No, no, no, no, no - he repeated as he dialed to get you an ambulance.

He wrapped your arms tightly with some old t-shirts to stop the fresh cuts from bleeding and held you close to his chest making sure your weakly beating heart kept going against his. He kept whispering the word "no" as tears ran down his face and dampened your hair under his chin.

When the doorbell rang he carried you out without waiting for the paramedics to come up to the apartment. He sat to a side in the ambulance, letting them work on your wounds as he tried to put a tough front and let the men do their job without minding him.

He was sitting in the waiting room as the guys arrived to keep him company. Hobi sat next to him and threw his arm around his shoulders. Yoongi leaned on him holding his hand up to his mouth, letting out the bitter tears he was holding back out at last. They all sat around them in silence until he finally spoke - I can't leave her, how am I going to go on a world tour now? - he said angrily, his fists resting on his lap balled so tightly his knuckles were white.

You can't do this alone - Jin said softly and Yoongi's red eyes met his - doctors have to keep an eye on her to help her - he continued and the younger's eyes lit up with a raging fire. If it wasn't because it was Jin talking, he would have gone off on him. He just stood up and went looking for someone to tell him how you were doing instead. The members looked at each other not knowing what to do. He had to accept he couldn't take care of it himself.

He was let in your room at last, he walked in quietly. Your eyelids fluttered open to look at him and the sadness in your eyes made his heart contort painfully. You kept hurting him when all you wanted was to make it easier for him, he'd be better off without you holding him back. He leaned in and embraced you like he never had before, there was something about the emotion he radiated. I'm sorry - he said and choked on his words.

Don't leave me, please - he said sobbing in your neck. I'm not worth it - you told him and he raised his eyes in disbelief, trying to decipher what was going through your head through your gaze. He choked again and kissed your lips softly over and over again, lost for words. I love you, you're my everything, you make my life worth it - he finally whispered in between tears.

The time to leave was coming and Yoongi's own depression was starting to show its ugly face. He was struggling to get his work done, to get through dance practice, to do all the prep necessary. He knew he'd inevitably have to leave you behind under someone else's care and he couldn't help but feel like he was abandoning you when you needed him the most.

The morning of the day he was going to leave for the first stop of the tour you both were taken to an unfamiliar place you'd never seen before. It was a different hospital than the one where you usually went to for your psychiatric appointments. Yoongi felt like he couldn't breath when the car stopped at the entrance. You saw the name of the hospital on the glass doors.

"Mental hospital" it read. You started to panic cry pulling from the door so the driver wouldn't open it. Don't do this, Yoongi - you pleaded and his eyes filled with tears as he gasped for air - just let me go, I won't bother you anymore - your words were like daggers to his heart. I'm trying to help you - he raised his voice inappropriately as he cried angry tears. He held your arms trying to get you to let go of the door.

He managed to make you lose your grip and pinned your arms to your sides, backing out of his own door. You cried harder kicking the air as he tried to stay on his feet with you fumbling in his arms. Once he was in front of the doors he fell on his knees bringing you down with him, but it wasn't because of your moving, this was consuming him with tremendous guilt. He choked as more angry tears escaped his eyes.

I'm trying to help you - he repeated in a sweeter shaky voice. Your doctor was alerted about your presence by one of the nurses as he was waiting for you and went to meet you at the door. A male nurse approached you two and Yoongi saw they wanted to take you away.

He suddenly didn't want to let go of you. F*ck everything, he thought as he tightened his hold on your precious body, trembling with rage and clenching his teeth. I'm not doing this, I'm staying right here, she's coming home with me, the thoughts inundated Yoongi's clouded mind.

Out of nowhere Namjoon and Hobi came and tore his arms away from you and brought him up on his feet. The nurse helped you put your weight on yours even though you refused to stand up. You both looked into each other's eyes deeply hurt by the sight in front of you, crying your eyes out as you were pulled away from each other.

-

To be continued...