Remember// C.H

47) Hurts to Love You

~Brooklyn

Returning back to Calum's place he quickly unlocked his door, and turned on the light.

I unzipped my boots, and placed them neatly by the door like I usually do, and I could feel Calum watching me.

Walking over to me, he smiled and grabbed my waist. "I missed you so much" he mumbled against my forehead.

"I can't stand being away from you" He kissed my forehead this time. Then my temple, then my cheek, and stopped before he kissed my lips.

"I love you so much" he whispered, and then softly kissed my lips.

I really wanted to kiss him back, but I just couldn't.

Calum pulled away looking at me cross.
"Brooklyn, are you okay?"

"I-I ..." I stuttered not knowing what to say.

"Please talk to me" Calum's voice cracked, and I could slowly see that he was breaking.

"Calum, I want to believe you, I do" I muttered

"Huh?"

His arms were still straddling my waist, and he stared deeply into my eyes. "Tell me what's on your mind love "

"Y-you keep telling me you love me" I continued "but how can I believe you, when you didn't love me before?"

His eyes dropped, and I knew I was getting to him. I didn't mean to do it on purpose, I just wanted him to know how I felt.

"Brooklyn" Calum said quietly. "I fucked up... Badly"

I looked away from him.

"Please look at at me!" Calum said "I never wanted to hurt you, I was confused and sad and I didn't know how to love until I met you" he said. "Everything just felt so surreal, and I didn't know how to take it, I wasn't used to loving anyone after Quinn, and you changed my perception of love."

I wanted to cry, but made sure he didn't see me weak again.

"My heart aches every night when you aren't with me. I go to sleep with you on my mind, and realizing how insane I've made a beautiful girl go. You don't deserve to be hurt, at least not by me" He cried. "Can't you see that I'm hurting, Brooklyn? Can't you see that I'm in pain? I am going fucking crazy Brooklyn, and I can't stop" he said

"I have so much pressure on me, every day I live a life where everyone is watching me, and I have to mask my feelings to the fans, and to paparazzi, and to anyone else. I'm supposed to do everything correct. But I'm only human, I make mistakes and I feel horrible. But honestly, I am just trying to figure myself out, and I'm trying to figure you out at the same time. And it's hard Brooklyn"

"Sometimes I don't know what you want, Sometimes I don't know how you feel, and I wish I knew more about you. And I know it's not your fault, and I know you've been hurt before by me, and others, and I make you like this. But I know that I am in love with you, and I can't act like I don't any longer. I still love you at my best, and even at my worst, and if you still can't see that I love you, maybe you are just afraid to love me back"

Calum let go of my waist, and walked back into his room. My eyes were filled with tears, and I quickly wiped them not knowing what to do.

I sat on the couch for a long while replaying everything Calum said to me in my head. I feel like such an ass, and I didn't know I was hurting him too.

And maybe again, I am afraid to show him that I love him.

I slowly walked to Calum's room before, turning the handle and saw how he was just laying on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. I crawled up next to him laying my head on his chest, as he wrapped both of his arms around my body.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled, and he kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry that I don't open up much, or tell you how I'm feeling, I'm sorry for ignoring you, and I'm sorry I only thought about myself who was hurting, and didn't even realize you were hurting too"

"You're okay" he said

I crawled up so now I was looking into his eyes and kissed him. It was slow but passionate, and I could feel him smiling as I went to kiss his neck.

Little moans escaped his mouth as we both kissed, and I swear I never felt anything like this.

I laid back down as he wrapped his arms around me, and turned on his television.

I pulled the blankets up and over us as his hold became stronger.

"Sorry about the hickeys on your neck" I blushed.

"As long as they're from you, it's cool right?"

I smiled, and maybe Calum and I can get our relationship right this time.

"I love you" He said to me.

"... And I love you too"

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HEYYYYYY! If you are wondering Calum and Brooklyn are still not dating :(

I don't know if I want them to date again, maybe? Maybe not???

WILL YOU ALSO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ MY STORY 'YOU' ITS A HARRY STYLES FANFIC AND RIGHT NOW ITS OKAY BUT I PROMISE YOU IT WILL GET BETTER!!!

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