Original Stories

Irked

Let me take a moment

I can't help it

I'm angry

Irritated

Irked

Upset

I feel

Like something isn't right

Like a clouded image

Those times

Where I want to do something

Something I enjoy

But for some reason it isn't going right

Or it feels wrong

Almost as if

I can't do the thing that normally makes me happy

It's causing my brain to falter

My wrists starting to cramp

And my body starts

To feel weird and uncomfortable

Everything I thought I could hold

Everything that I thought was right

Suddenly feels foreign

Untouchable

Just when I was starting

To climb back up

I fall down again

And it feels

detached

Unattainable

As if it's just disappeared from my grasp

And it's as if

A million different emotions

Fragments

Pieces of myself

Have run away

And I don't know when they'll be coming back

I'm falling

Falling

Falling

Falling again into a periodic emotion

of confusion

loss

Losing my sense of capability

Of understanding

Why is it happening again

Where does it come from

Why can't I stop it

Why does it only come

Every two months

When I least expect it

When I'm trying to create

To be calm

And collected

It's confusing me

I don't know

How to explain it in detail

Or what to do about it

But I know it's there

I know that it's the reason

Why I suddenly feel

Like I'm not accomplishing anything

I know it's all in my head

That it'll be over

Maybe once I eat some food

Once the day is over

Or maybe in a month

Like it always has

But I can't help but dwell on it

But if I can write about it

Now I feel it slowly

Slowly disappearing

But not completely

I know it can't read or hear

The words that I am told

But I am not in control of it

Not yet

Because it's not within my grasp

My line of sight or understanding

But I will get there soon