Original Stories

Hey

Y'all might have already known this, but I've been feeling like shit and I've been really messed up today after some stuff, I'm mentally drained, emotionally drained, I've been kinda depressed for awhile, I haven't been eating properly for a week or 2, I haven't had my creative outlet or happy juices for a month or so, school is ruining me, I feel like my brain is deteriorating, and as happy as I am a lot of the time, there's just been this feeling of just pain, sadness, depression, whatever, I dunno what it is, but it's been eating at me for awhile. I don't feel like telling my parents cuz I'm worried they'll tell me I'm "fine". I'm not telling my counselor cuz I don't need to hear "you need therapy" not cuz I don't wanna go, but cuz I can't afford it, hearing that makes my problems worse, and we don't know how to get me that help anyway, not that we can cuz of quarantine and other conditions.I do want to make it aware that it is nobody's fault. I've been going through this for years, and it's just hit really bad as of the last few months.Also, gender dysphoria is a pain in the ass, I'm questioning my sexuality a lot, and no matter what you tell me, I'm still going to feel invalid deep down.And the fact that it's hard to keep up w/ school and my grades are kinda slipping is not helping.Once again, it's nobody's fault, this is normal for me and it's been going on for a long time, so don't blame yourself or feel responsible.