The octopus from the new artbook chapter! <3
This chapter was made while listening to a stupid love song that makes me cry. And in the midst of that I thought of another song that I can't remember anything about that my previous partner showed me.
And now I'm desperately looking for that song like the hopeless romantic I am.
I just love sappy songs, and I liked the singer.
I don't know why I didn't tell you before.
It's been gnawing at me for months
And now more than ever.
Oh how I've wanted to get it off my chest.
But for some reason
I don't have the heart to tell you.
But I want to.
More than anything I want you to know.
But I'm not just scared you'll turn me away or forget me.
I'm scared of who I'll become once I do.
Even if you tell me it's okay,
That you're fine with it,
That you feel the same,
What if it ends up like the last time?
What if I end up like that?
But I don't want my box to remain forever locked up and empty with a million keys strewn around my mind.
How I want so BADLY to just give you the keys and my word
And to be allowed and able to do the same with you.
But I also fear the ways I view you may change.
After all, a part of me believed once that you're perfect and unruined by hardships and romance.
Even if I can rationally understand that's not true,
There's still something in me
That wants to believe you're never at fault.
But more than that, I want to be able to be even more open.
I've been vulnerable around you,
I've CRIED in front of you
And turned to you
And put my trust in you
Because I could not BEAR to talk to anyone else.
Somewhere, I think you might have already suspected
The emotions I started developing
After finally being able to speak with you again
And how often I did so
And the manner I did or said things around you.
But I'm so afraid that if I tell you
Things won't be as amazing as they are now.
And as much as I want to move further,
I can't.
I don't want to let go of the feelings I have now.
I can be content with keeping it inside
If it means I don't have to give up the sweetness
And the hopes and dreams.
I don't want to change,
And I don't want things between us to change
Because of something I said.
And although I refuse to admit it out loud,
I whisper it to myself in my brain where no one else can hear me.
...
I love you.
