I have no right to be happy rn
idk why, I just feel like thatI feel fucking hopeless
Not in an "I want to die" kind of way
But in a, "I should probably get professional help, but I'm scared it makes me look like a selfish fake piece of shit so I refuse to do it" kind of way
And simply for the fact that I've convinced myself that my issues are fake
Purely for the fact that I don't really know where it comes from
And because it's not as severe as other people's issues
And also because I'm not diagnosed
And reallyI'm just scared of being wrong
Also because since these negative emotions only last for certain periods of timeI'm scared that I'll just get told that it's fake and that it's all a lie
Just because I don't experience it 24/7 like other people
Because that's what always happens
And honestlyI just feel like I'm doing everything wrong
And that I don't deserve to be happy when I keep letting other people down
And because I don't have any future plans
Or what I want to do with my lifeAnd I just feel so lonely all the time
And I'm always frustrated
And I just cry over everything because that's literally the only thing I know how to do
And it just fucking sucks
Because it feels like being happy
Might just be a goal I'm never going to achieve
Being successful
Seems like something I'll never be able to do
Because everything just blocks my path
And I give up
Because nothing feels worth it
And I'm just going to cry over everything in the end and I'm not getting anywhere
I feel like I'm choking on nothing rn
