Original Stories

Untitled Part 115

I suck

I hate myself

I probably need help

But that's just dragging people down

I know I'm hopeless

I suck

I'm bad at almost everything

I can't help myself

I'm  just gonna have to smile through it all again

I say I'm done crying

But I'm not

It's really hard to trust people and the words they say

And I don't know what's right anymore

But I've just gotta go back to being happy

Because nobody wants to see me cry

And nobody wants to put up with me

And it's not like the people that I want to notice even seem to care

Even if something really is wrong

If I really am messed up

It's not like it can be fixed

It's not like things will get better

I'm just gonna keep falling back down

And the worst part is

Is having people try and pick me back up

Because I can't do it for myself

And nobody notices the little signs and signals I give off

My pleas for help

And the only person that did

The only 2 people that did

I loved them dearly

I still do

But they broke me

A lot

And no matter how much I say I recovered from what happened

I probably haven't

That was over 2 years ago

I'm still fucked up

Actually

Because of them

It's worse

And because I refuse to acknowledge that I'm fucked up

That I need help

It's only gonna get worse

I know that already

I always knew that

But there's not a lot I can do

There's nothing

Nothing

Nothing but pain and suffering ahead

And I'm just gonna force my way

Through a life covered in heavy sheets

And I'll probably suffocate myself trying to find a way out

When everything is dark

Darker than it is now

Even though I can't find the opening

Oh wait

Did you think there was gonna be a positive ending this time

Like the other one's I've wrote

Well

There's not

I don't see a good side to any of this

I'm tired

I'm drained

I'm mentally and emotionally unstable

And I really want to give up

I'm too much of a pussy to try and commit to anything

And maybe that's for the best

But I'm just gonna sit in my little hole of fear and sadness

And let all the bad shit fall and cover me up until my final breath

I'm sorry

I just can't anymore