A couple days had gone by but what Jackson said stuck with you. As badly as you wanted to question Tobias about his sadness before you two had met, there are just certain things that should be left unsaid. But on the other hand (y/n) had a right to know, whether it was a previous lover or a deep grief she needed to know. 'What if we go back to Jackson and ask him instead?' 'Then Tobias would feel betrayed that I went to his best friend instead of him'.
Gathering your thoughts you went back and forth in your mind, figuring out if you should ask or just let it be. I guess Tobias noticed because he asked me what was on my mind. "I'm just thinking about the next show." You tell him. Knowing you're lying he pushes further. "(Y/n) you know you can talk to me about anything right? Please just tell me what's really going on up there in that ingenious little mind of yours.". " I'm just lost in my thoughts, when I figure everything out I promise I'll tell you." You say, reassuring him. But his face stayed puzzled. "What were you and Jackson talking about the other night?". You froze. Unable to lie you confess the truth. With wide eyes he looks at you, blushing. Without another word he gets up and leaves the bus.
We were stopped outside of a motel, only a few hours from the next spot. Cincinnati, Ohio.
With flushed cheeks you chase after him, only to get off the bus and see him walk into someone's room. The door number was 214. Going to the front desk you ask who's staying in there, a Mr. Whitten. Jackson's room. Marching up to the door you knock. Jackson answers and pulls you inside. Walking in you sit down on the couch. Tobias walks in from Jackson's bedroom holding a book. Sitting down next to you he places his hand on your knee and kisses your forehead. " (Y/n) we have something important to discuss." He says sternly, looking over at Jackson. He comes out of the kitchen with drinks. Setting them down on the table he looks at you with a sort of melancholic expression.
Tobias spoke. "Before you and I met I was quite the trouble maker. I was in multiple relationships with multiple women, unable to really figure out what I felt. This of course was my Repugnant days. Playing in different bands was how I spent my time. Blacking out left and right. It's wasn't... Healthy.". " Then of course we formed Ghost and everything felt right in the world, until it didn't. After our last tour I had fallen into what seemed to be an endless depression, only able to perform with a smile. I would spend my spare time in Iowa, and countless other places looking in and out of record stores for something special. Trying to find my spark again. And then I met you, and you changed the way I thought." He pauses. "After that night with you I realized I wasn't just looking for a good time, I wanted something permanent." Grabbing your hand and holding it to his chest he gazes into your eyes. "You made me realize I didn't need one night stands or alcohol to be happy. I just needed someone by my side who took the time to understand me and guide me in the right direction." "You, my darling are my muse. I haven't been this happy in a long time, and it's all because of you. I want you to have this.". He hands you the book he walked in the room with. It's a scrap book filled with pictures of him all the way back to his childhood. You take the book and sift through the pages, stopping on a few of him in his youth. 'He's such a cute little thing'.
