where the water meets the moon | e.d.

one

addison

"addy, this could be it for you," my mom gushes to me over the phone as i continue to stack dishes in my cupboards.

i fight an eye roll. "i don't think i'm qualified enough. it would just be me, another junior intern, and probably an old, grimy dude who just knows how to steer the boat."

"this is what you've always wanted."

"not a random 4 month coral reef exploration with people i would hardly know. i want to be an aquatic veterinarian, not researching some stupid plankton in the middle of the ocean."

i hear her sigh. "you could make friends?"

that makes me think for a moment. ever since i moved out of maine and to florida, it's been kind of hard to adjust. college is great, but only when you have friends.

"and besides— do you know how amazing this would look to future employers? they're giving you a chance. take it," she urges with a firm voice.

"i'll think about it," i decide, just to make her happy. "that's it, though. just gonna think about it."

"you're 20, honey. it's time to do something in life that you don't necessarily want to do."

"why in the world would i ever do that?"

"who knows... what if you make the greatest discovery of your life?" she asks, and i hear background noises of pots and pans. she must be cooking dinner.

"i don't think bacteria in a random coral reef counts as a discovery of a lifetime."

"no, addy," she sighs out. "i meant in your personal life. stuff like this isn't handed to you every day. take it. and maybe in four months you'll come back a different person."

"like... a good different?" i ask quietly, almost hopeful. i stop putting away dishes to lean against the counter and wait for her response.

"yes. a good different."

truth is: lately i've been feeling stuck.

everything seems so boring and repetitive. maybe this is my chance to get away from my normal surroundings and have a summer of new experiences.

"well... let's speak hypothetically here," my mom says slowly, and i groan, already knowing she's going to persuade me even more. "when would you leave?"

"in a couple weeks. may 12," i answer.

"and when would you come back?"

"august 18"

"so it's simply one summer of your life."

i hesitate, chewing on the inside of my cheek. "yeah."

"so do it."

"maybe," i reply softly. "thank you, mom. can you tell dad hi? and logan? i have to study for finals."

"of course. i love you, honey," she replies in a smooth voice, filled with genuineness. "please consider it some more. call me if you need anything."

"love you, bye."

i hang up the call and place my phone back on the counter of my apartment. with a deep breath, i lean my elbows on the granite and place my head in my hands.

there's no reason why i shouldn't do this.

it's great for future jobs, an amazing experience, i'll maybe meet new people, and i love the ocean. ever since i was a baby i'd been itching to get out of maine and move south.

i continue to think about it as i study for my exams and chew relentlessly on the end of a pen.

even my best friend, jasmine, from back home says that i need to do it, and i'd be stupid if i turned it down.

i think i'm scared.

i'm scared of experiences.

but at 8 pm, i finally call my mentor/advisor at the lab that i intern part-time in.

"have you thought about it yet?" jake questions, a tone of hope in his voice.

i take a deep breath.

"write my name down."