where the water meets the moon | e.d.

thirty-seven

addy

i roll out of bed with the sun, surprising myself with the fact that i'm the first one up.

not like i got much sleep anyway.

cressida is passed out on one of the beds, and another figure is strewn about next to her. after dinner and karaoke last night, kendall went off with ethan and never came back.

that caused evan to finalize that he would not be going back to their room, and instead crashing with us.

as i think of how happy they seemed last night, i get a heavy feeling in my stomach.

and then it turns heavier, because i feel gross.

i feel gross that i selfishly want ethan.

he's clearly back to being okay with kendall, and i need to get that through my head and fully respect it. she seems like such a nice girl, and i need to try even harder to hide the discomfort i feel when i see them together. clearly it's noticeable, because ethan kept giving me strange looks last night.

with a sigh, i turn on the shower to a scalding temperature and step into the hot stream. my movements feel slow as i wash my hair and body, even going as far to re-shaving my legs even though i don't really need to. i just dread the moment where i have to step out of this comforting steam.

when i eventually do, the mirror is far past foggy and i have to wipe it down with my hand to see my reflection.

me with my dripping, brown hair and a towel clutched tightly to my chest. i frown.

i would have never considered myself ugly, but seeing kendall makes me wonder if i actually am in the eyes of someone like ethan.

because wow, they look so good together. a beauty and another beauty.

instead of pondering on the thought any longer, i grab my toothbrush and begin my daily ten minute teeth routine that consists of whitening, brushing, and flossing.

most of my bathroom time on the boat is dedicated to my teeth care, honestly.

i had braces for five years. i'm not messing it up.

after i put my toothbrush away, i hear some rustling around from outside the bathroom and quiet talking. evan and cress must be up.

i walk out in my white robe that i found hanging up in the closets, and greet them with an actual genuine smile. even with all the kendall and ethan stuff, i'm still excited to spend today with my friends.

"there it is!" cress yells encouragingly, pointing at me.

"what?" i laugh.

she stands up and walks over to me, taking my face in her hands and squishing it. "those pearly white teeth! i've missed them."

i giggle, swatting her away and reaching for my suitcase. "no idea what you're talking about."

"you've been walking around like a sad clown," evan chimes in as he reaches for the remote and turns on the tv.

i scoff, watching him flip through home renovation channels. "i have not!"

we all know it's a lie, but no one tries to object.

instead, cressida claims the bathroom and i hear the shower turn on, then her complaints that i wasted all the hot water.

i shake my head and laugh, beginning to rifle through my possible outfits.

evan half-heartedly helps me choose a matching short, white, loose skirt and crop top set.

"and ask cress to do your hair," he adds and goes back to his show.

i nod, and take a seat on the floor in front of the big mirror.

usually on the boat i don't wear makeup since you never know if you'll need to go in the water, and there's just no point. no one cares.

but now i feel like putting some on and feeling good for myself. who knows, maybe i could meet a cute island guy to take my mind off ethan?

so i do what i do for my classes back at school: soft brown liner, skin tint and spf, light concealer, blush, bronzer, and mascara.

when i'm finally content with my eyelashes, i cap the mascara bottle and smile. it's been while since i've done a full face, and it feels nice.

"wow," evan appears beside me, crouching down and moving my damp hair from one shoulder to the other. "i just saw confidence boost in your eyes. go get a man."

i laugh and wait for cressida to come out of the bathroom and for evan to take his turn.

"cress, can you do my hair?" i ask.

she turns around with bright eyes.

"have a seat in my salon."

i am utterly wowed as she blow dries my hair, sprays some product, unravels the old strand of beads, and begins on her style that she told me vaguely about.

but i trust this girl with my life, so...

and at the end, i'm fully impressed.

there's two french braids running down the back of my head, but instead of continuing all the way down, they turn into ponytails at the end. she does some touch-ups around to make it look a little messy and wavy, then taps my shoulder.

"you're such a miracle worker," i sigh out happily, looking at it in the mirror.

"i have the best clients. now get ready. we're going to breakfast and then i think the beach...?" she trails off with question in her voice.

i nod. "got it."

"and don't worry," she adds. "i don't think we're going to see much of kendall and ethan."

"wait, what—"

she cuts me off with a knowing look, and turns around to make her bed.

she knows.