where the water meets the moon | e.d.

fifty-three

addy

"why's your camera on the deck, ethan?" is the first thing i hear when i flutter my eyes open in the early morning. i rub my eyes and force myself to sit up from my bed quietly.

"i- i don't know," i hear him confess. "i probably just left it out there yesterday afternoon."

there's a beat of silence.

"i haven't seen this damn camera since two weeks ago. you did not use it yesterday, and avery makes sure everything is put away before he goes to bed," kendall spits out angrily.

their muffled voices converse back and forth, and i gulp. i can't make out any more words, but ethan's tone seems calm and collected, while kendall sounds like she's on the verge of a mental breakdown. 

the camera. i slap my forehead with my palm and curse myself for not reminding him to grab it.

i hear their voices begin to get louder and carry through the hallway, and it strikes me that they're right outside of my room. before i can even prepare myself, my door is swung open.

"hey?" i say as more of a question, and scratch my head. "i know you're new, but usually we knock on other people's doors—"

she shuts me up by pulling out a familiar red packaging with small circus animals all over it.

i try not to let my eyes widen, and i can see that ethan is trying to contain the same expression.

"y-you eat animal crackers for breakfast?" i question. "i think eggs would probably have more protein but you do you, ya know?"

her face doesn't find anything amusing and she pushes the bag out to me. "these are yours."

i shake my head and look at the bag like it's foreign. "those are not mine."

"you're the only one on here that eats these stupid, childish snacks. avery literally only puts them on the grocery list because of you."

she has me there.

"why do you care so much?" i ask. "i mean, it's just a bag of animal crackers."

"i care because they were on the deck. with ethan's camera. and they weren't there when i went to bed last night," she says quietly.

"they're his, maybe?" i shrug, motioning behind her to ethan standing in the doorway.

"he would've said so."

ethan opens his mouth, then closes it again.

"who wants to tell me what's going on?" she asks, clearly frustrated.

"they were mine, blondie," evan comes in out of nowhere, pushing past ethan and yanking the bag from kendall, all while doing his signature eye roll.

i hide a smile. even when he has no clue that he's helping me, he still does.

"what were they doing on the deck, then?" kendall questions doubtfully.

"i woke up this morning to watch the dolphins, then went back to bed and left them out there," evan explains so easily i almost believe him.

kendall knits her eyebrows together and gives him a once-over. "really?"

"yes," he says dryly. "i really didn't need to be re-woken up at 8 am with screaming over a plastic bag. they're animal crackers, honey."

she stands there with her mouth open as he pushes past her and out the door with the bag still in hand.

i think i've said this before... but i love evan.

"that still doesn't explain the camera," her expression is suddenly stormy again as she turns back to ethan, and he looks like he wants to go back to bed and shut the door in her face.

"and that has nothing to do with me," i lie, beginning to shoo them out of my room. "so i think you guys should just... talk this out."

before i close the door in their faces, i see ethan shoot me a panicked look, and i snicker a little.

"close one," i mumble under my breath and gather my clothes for the day.

if ethan and i are going to sneak around, we'll have to be more careful. kendall's instincts were right, and it makes me feel sick knowing that she's being cheated on... and it's my fault.

don't know if i'll ever forgive myself for this one, but i trust that ethan knows what he's doing, and that it's for the best to spare her feelings.

on my way to the bathroom, i run into evan, who stops me with raised eyebrows.

"hello, ms. animal cracker."

"thank you so much," i whisper quietly. "i know you don't know the reasoning as to why i couldn't claim those, but it meant a lot that you did."

"addy... you're my best friend."

"what are you getting at?"

"you know you can tell me anything, right?"

i swallow a lump in my throat, seriously contemplating whether or not i spill my guilty conscience onto someone, releasing me from my heavy mind for at least five minutes.

he notices my hesitation and raises an eyebrow, titling his chin down.

"ethan and i..." i start to say, then immediately regret it. "we went outside to take pictures of the sunrise, and we left our stuff by accident."

the words rush from my mouth quickly, and it takes evan a moment to process them. when he does, he nods slowly and doesn't say another word before walking down the hall to the kitchen.

i let out a breath of relief that i didn't blow our cover, and slip into the bathroom.

when i fold my clothes onto the counter, i open my assigned drawer and reach for my hairbrush. my fingers feel something light and papery stuck onto the handle when i pull it out.

a small yellow sticky note with familiar handwriting reads:

get out the "tangles" of today and celebrate the countdown.

33 days

i laugh at the stupid pun that he probably came up with on the spot and smile down at the note. the countdown thing confuses me, but when i do the math it calculates to august 18, the day we dock.

he smartly didn't leave his name, but i know it's ethan. and of course he would leave it in a spot only i go into.

i step into the lukewarm shower, still feeling happy about the note.

but when the voices of them still discussing the camera and animal crackers filters through the hall, my guilt is back.