where the water meets the moon | e.d.

fourteen

ethan

as annoying as addison may be, her advice is always good.

throughout the week, we've run into each other frequently at odd hours of the night on the observation deck.

it's like a nightly thing now, but the both of us still pretend to be surprised when we see each other.

usually we only stay out there for thirty-ish minutes and we talk a little.

a lot, actually.

i think she knows that the questions i ask are from personal experiences, but she always pretends like she doesn't realize and answers truthfully.

<><><><><>

tuesday night, may 12

"if jeremy were to be confused as to why you're not necessarily as into the conversations as you'd usually be, how would you want him to tell you? and how would you respond?" i asked, tossing up my pen and catching it in the air.

"i'd probably want him to tell me right away so we could talk about it. jeremy could tell me any way he wants as long as the message is clear and it's not accusatory or mean. i mean, what if i was just having a bad day?" addison replied, nodding her head. "as long as it's a respectful conversation, he should be able to come to me with anything."

lesson of the night: approach kendall with upmost respect when addressing issues.

wednesday night, may 13

"and what if you just... blew him off. totally disregarded his plans, and he got mad. should you get why he's mad, or should you defend yourself by saying that your schedule doesn't revolve around him?" i asked. yes the scenario happened once. i didn't know how to respond to kendall after she told me that.

"each person in a relationship has the right to be mad at the other. i don't control jeremy's emotions, and he doesn't control mine. i think you— or, jeremy, sorry— needs to realize that when plans are scheduled, i should follow through with them."

"and if you don't?"

"then we talk it over. we put ourselves in each other's shoes and see how the other person may be feeling upset or conflicted."

lesson of the night: empathy is the greatest superpower in a relationship.

thursday night, may 14

"let's say that jeremy feels like you don't spend enough time with him. and your friends don't like him for no reason—"

"no reason?" her eyes narrowed teasingly. "i feel like there would have to be a reason."

"literally there isn't one at all. but they don't like him. what does that mean, from a girl perspective?" i asked.

she chewed on her bottom lip. "i think there would have to be some sort of reason. i guess if they get bad vibes i would try to hear them out, but i'm old enough to make my own decisions. i wouldn't break up with jeremy just because my friends told me to."

my shoulders relaxed at that.

lesson of the night: don't let kendall's friends intervene on the relationship

<><><><><>

a feeling of excitement surges through my stomach as the mail boat comes closer and all of us crowd on the deck. evan and addison are ready with helping hands to take in the groceries, but i'm just hoping to receive five letters back.

avery makes us put away every single bag of groceries before handing out the stack of letters that was placed into his hands.

addison gets three, evan three as well, and i get handed... four.

i blink at the names as i try to figure out who didn't write back. it's not that big of a deal as long as it's not the one person i was counting on the reply.

i flip through grayson's letter with a smiley face next to the stamp, my mom's, my sister's, and my other friend from back home.

i swallow a lump in my throat as i realize that kendall didn't write to me.

addison notices my mood change and furrows her eyebrows. we're not necessarily shooting daggers at each other, but i try not to be as mean to her as i was. after all, she is giving me free advice.

i hope she doesn't think we're friends.

and as if she just knows, when no one is paying attention, she whispers to me, "maybe she didn't get the letter. mail can be slow."

deep down i know that's not it, but i try to cling onto the last thread of hope that it's maybe just a big misunderstanding.

i brush off addison's concern, clearing my throat and pretending i wasn't just upset. evan frowns down at one of his letters.

"my cat ate my sister's class hamster," he reports, reading from the paper. "how am i supposed to fix that when i'm in the middle of mexican waters, mom?"

addison lets out a loud, genuine laugh and i have trouble keeping my own chuckles in.

he tries to look at us in a scolding manner, but fails miserably when a smile peeks through. "guys this is serious! my sister was supposed to take care of it and then gillian ate it—"

"evan," i laugh out. "you're kidding me, right? this is just a big prank?"

"no!" he exclaims, throwing up his hands with the letter in it and letting out a small laugh. "my mom is so mad like it's my fault?? i haven't seen my cat in like, three months—"

"evan, please stop," addison pleads out in a strangled voice full of laughs. she clutches her stomach and doubles over as her face turns bright red.

and somehow her dramatic laughter makes it twenty times funnier.

and for a moment, it takes my mind away from the absence of kendall's letter.