where the water meets the moon | e.d.

thirty-one

addy

june 20

tensions are high on the boat on saturday morning.

ethan's been stressed since last night when he read a letter from his brother. he wouldn't tell me what it said, he he promised it had nothing bad in it.

evan's slightly annoyed with me because i accidentally broke his hairbrush by dropping it on the ground, then proceeding to accidentally slip and fall on top of it. long story. it has something to do with wet floors.

and i'm mad at the entire group because avery made a slightly offensive joke at dinner last night, and no one backed me up.

and the old captain is just oblivious to everyone's silence.

"i saw a really cool bird yesterday," he leans across the table with a fork full of mac n cheese. "lost my bird book, though. couldn't identify it."

i lean back in my seat, sucking on my teeth.
"did you call the bird a—"

"get over it addison, it happened 12 hours ago," ethan interrupts my tangent before it can even start with an eye roll.

i raise a challenging eyebrow. "oh, really?"

he swallows, then lowers his eyes.
"i just don't know why you're still talking about it. if it offended you, say something and move on."

"it's not the joke i was offended by!" i exclaim, feeling that pit of fire start in my stomach. "it's the fact that no one saw that it clearly affected my mood and said something to back me up. all of you were quiet."

"addison, i'm sorry," avery sighs, and i hear his voice is genuine. "i didn't mean to make you so upset."

"it's fine," i sit back stuffily. "i forgive you."

evan stirs his coffee and licks his jaw. "maybe don't turn the bathroom into a slip and slide then expect me to just stand up for you?"

"it was a hairbrush accident! you can borrow mine!" i exclaim.

"it was the only one i had! now i have to wait until next week to put one on the grocery list!"

"okay," i sit back. "what's your excuse, ethan? i thought that you would be the first one to come to my side and back me up. mr. 'i swear i'm a feminist, i have a sister' kinda quiet now, huh?"

he rolls his eyes for probably the hundredth time, and keeps his mouth shut.

"knew it," i mutter under my breath, shaking my head and staring out the small window.

it's safe to say that this entire argument is pretty petty, but i'm upset. when avery made the joke, i looked around to see if anyone else had a problem with it. but they were just sitting there. staring at me like i was some sort of alien.

"addy, you're being so dramatic about this," evan chimes in, voice clearly tired.

"really? because i think that i've been taking being the only girl on here like a champ, evan."

"do you want a medal?"

my nostrils flare as i try and come up with another response. "you know what—"

"guys!" ethan yells loudly, rattling the salt shakers on the table.

we're all stunned to silence by his random outburst, since he's been pretty quiet for a long time.

he closes his eyes, takes a calming breath, then opens them again.

"you," he points at avery. "you said a joke that was offensive. you apologized. she accepted it. congrats."

"and you," we all look to evan as he continues. "you're being dramatic about the brush. it was an accident. she fell. would you rather she be hurt?"

evan looks at his lap and shakes his head.

it was pretty embarrassing, to be honest. i was butt naked so i couldn't even ask anyone for help. the bruise on my hip is pretty big.

"and you." now the attention is on me. "you had every right to be offended from the joke. i'm sorry i didn't say anything. that's my bad. but stop bringing it up every time the conversation starts to go back to normal for the love of god."

i nod and swallow.

"and i'm sorry i've been quiet about the issues that we tend to have. i'll try to stick up for you more, but get some thicker skin, would you? i know you're all sweet and innocent, but the world sucks. it sucks, addy."

his words sting, but in the good way.
all of us definitely needed to hear everything he just said.

he sits back down and buffs out a deep breath. we all kind of just sit there quietly, none of us daring to move a muscle.

"i'm sorry for continually bringing it up instead of moving on," i whisper.

"i'm sorry that i didn't say anything... and that i yelled at you for breaking my brush. i know it wasn't your intention, and you genuinely felt bad."

"addison, i really am sorry about the joke. i thought it was funny, but i was wrong."

"and i'm sorry too. just because i've kind of been a pain in the ass since the beginning," ethan apologizes lastly, but it makes us all laugh.

and that's when i realize that this boat is more than just a summer exploration internship.

as cheesy as it sounds, i love these guys. we've grown close, fought, laughed, and made a lot of memories that i'll be sure to tell my kids one day.

"let's not kill each other yet. we've got two more months," avery remarks.

i nod. "deal. i can hold out until then."

"hold out from what?" ethan raises an eyebrow.

i look at him with my sweetest, most passive aggressive smile i can muster.
"hold out from accidentally slipping rat poison into your nightly diet root beer."

"wow. what a way to go. that funeral would be interesting," he remarks, his tone now teasing.

"please can we just all have a nice breakfast now?" avery grumbles, grabbing his fork. "my appetite has been gone ever since addy gave me a death glare earlier."

i laugh, remembering the nasty look vividly.
to be honest, he looked scared.

as everyone digs in, i look to ethan.

thank you, i mouth to him.

he simply winks.