where the water meets the moon | e.d.

forty-one

addy

as he lowers the camera, i know he's thinking exactly what i am.

there has to be dozens of photos of me, but none of her.

for a split moment, i feel bad for kendall.
then the other half, i feel good about myself. because even if ethan is the most unattainable guy i have interest in right now, it makes me happy knowing he likes to take photos of me.

"you blinked."

i furrow my eyebrows and smile. "what? no i didn't? i swear."

"no, pretty sure you blinked."

"you can't even tell yet, ethan—"

"you blinked," he reiterates firmly. "i have to take another one."

it's an undeniable butterfly rush to my stomach as i face his camera again, and give the most genuine smile i can muster.

my mom gave me this trick when i was younger.
she said if i ever needed to give a good, believable smile, i need to think of the last thing that made me happy.

and the last thing that made me happy was seeing ethan come down the beach, thinking i was drunk and wasn't safe, and coming down to keep me company.

so i replay the picture in my head until the flash goes off, partially blinding me for a second.

"good?" i ask.

"hmmm..." he draws out. "don't know. what if you blinked in that one too?"

"highly unlikely."

"unlikely still means it's at least a little likely."

"so... did i blink or not?"

"did you take a statistics course ever?" he asks.

"no."

"me neither," he replies honestly. "and since we don't have the knowledge to make a good judgment on what the probabilities are, i just say we better be safe than sorry and just take another one."

i hold in a laugh at his mock-seriousness and reach up to mess with my hair before posing again.

i think of a different moment this time, it being the fact that this is the third time ethan has made me take this photo.

it makes me smile widely and have it reach my eyes.

"there," he whispers once the picture has been taken. "good."

i raise an eyebrow. "you sure this time?"

he laughs. "pretty sure."

"good."

things are quiet as we both turn to the crashing water and squint to see it under the dim moonlight and the couple of lights from the hotel.

i really want to know why he was so off today about dario.

and why he wasn't super in sync with kendall at dinner.