where the water meets the moon | e.d.

nine

addison

friday afternoon

ethan looks down at the letters before handing them over to the staff and advisors that crowd the mail ship.

he seems to have trouble parting ways with them, which makes me wonder what he's written. and to who?

but i eat my packaged salad that was handed over for friday's lunch and watch as he stares at the boat as it goes off towards the island.

evan is nowhere to be seen, and captain avery is messing with the anchor chain, not paying attention to his surroundings.

i look around before getting the courage to speak up.

"hey," i say, hopefully loud enough for him to hear.

ethan turns to me, eyes a little dim and mouth set in a slight frown. "what?"

"i just..." i struggle for the words, not really knowing what i wanted to say in the first place. "who'd you write to?" i ask eventually.

he shrugs and shifts uncomfortably. "my family. some friends. my girlfriend."

i nod. "cool. i wrote to my mom since kinda made me come on this trip. i wasn't going to come but then she said—"

"did i ask?"

i flinch a little, feeling the fork in my hand stop from spearing another piece of lettuce. his eyes burn into me, and i can't possibly look up at him.

why is he so mean?

"no, i guess not," i mumble down at my salad and try to stop my face from turning bright red.

he leaves the deck and goes inside, probably to find evan or to hide away in his room.

i sit in silence, listening to the ocean noises and watching the water from my seat.

"can i tell you a secret?" avery sighs, standing up and wiping his forehead of sweat. i didn't know he was listening

i look at him curiously. "okay?"

he leans against the railing and thinks about his words for a moment before saying, "dr. cornell told me that ethan was supposed to come on this trip with a girl named— what was it? kennedy? kendall? i don't remember, but she backed out."

"why should i know this?" i ask.

he shrugs. "maybe that's why he doesn't like you. you filled her spot."

it all seems to make perfect sense once i hear it out loud.

i took her spot.

"so... what do i do about it?"

"don't know," he shrugs. "just stay away from him, maybe? eventually he'll get over it, but i heard it left him pretty upset. dr. cornell warned me there might be some tension on the boat."

"got that right," i snort. "is... is that all you know?"

he contemplates something in his head before sighing. "she's joining the exploration in july. he'll be in a better mood then."

he leaves me no time to respond before disappearing around the side railing of the boat and probably escaping the conversation that was supposed to be between him and dr. cornell.

i can't help but feel bad. 

it's not my fault that his girlfriend ditched the trip, but it still makes me feel some sort of guilt that i'm crowding a spot that should be someone else's.

at dinner that consists of fried triggerfish, brussels sprouts, and diet coke, ethan is quiet.

"so what groceries did we get?" evan asks, peering at the plastic bags that are abandoned on the counter ever since noon.

captain avery shrugs. "don't know. they give the same things to everyone. we have to figure out how to eat it all before next week's delivery."

evan stands up from the booth-table and starts to paw through the bags. he pulls out some more granola bars, nutella, bread, peanut butter, pretzels, and scolds is for not putting away the eggs, milk, and  cream cheese.

and when he gets to the third bag, his eyes widen.

"we get alcohol?" he asks, pulling out a bottle of fancy scotch.

i'm 20, and the most alcohol i've had is a few drinks at a couple high school parties, and the frequent wine cooler i'll get when i'm with my parents.

"no, obviously not," avery rolls his eyes. "that's my thank you gift from the lab."

he stands up and takes it from evan's hands, stocking it away in a top cupboard and he tells us not to touch it, or else he could get in trouble.

ethan doesn't seem to bothered by it, and evan shrugs.

i wonder how old ethan is. 20? 21?
he looks like he should be much older, but i can never tell if i'm being honest.

captain avery sits back down and starts talking to us about our day off tomorrow, and what we should do to pass the time.

evan suggests we fish, i offer to teach how to play poker with jelly beans, and ethan sits quietly.

seems like he doesn't have much to say.