where the water meets the moon | e.d.

thirty-eight

ethan

it's about 10 am and kendall and i still haven't moved from our spot in my bed, her curled up against me as i run my fingers through her hair.

"think we should get up now?" she asks.

i shake my head. "nah."

she laughs, but pushes off my chest anyway and shakes out her messy ponytail.

"well i'm going to get ready," she says, leaning forward to give me a small kiss on my lips. "but do as you please."

i smile and watch her disappear into the bathroom wearing my t shirt from the night before.

it was hard being away from sex for two months, so i was very happy to have her back for the first night. i'm guessing evan just crashed in addy's room— and for that i'm thankful.

"hey," she calls from the bathroom. "guess what you talked about in your sleep last night?"

i freeze, fearing the worst. "what?"

but i hear her laugh, which relaxes my shoulders. "something about snowmen and then house plants."

"weird," i wrinkle my nose.

she peeks her head out the bathroom and says, "you really should figure out how to control it."

"i can't... i thought we've been over this. it just happens, and it's common. i'm not dying or anything."

"but it's just..." she sighs out, not wanting to finish the sentence.

annoying. right.

addison has never called it annoying.

but at the same time, i don't want to argue on her first full day here, so i just shrug and grab my phone from the nightside table.

when i hear the shower turn on, i debate on saving time and just joining her, but for some reason i don't. then it hits me that i definitely would've without a second thought just a couple months ago.

so why not now?

i feel like my brain is just messing with me.

so i wait until she's done and washing her face at the sink to get out of bed, grab a towel, and turn on the shower.

she looks at me weirdly from the mirror, and grabs her toothbrush. "everything okay?"

"everything's great," i assure, closing my eyes and letting the water wet my hair.

but that couldn't be farther from the truth.

i don't know how to explain it, but i just feel weird. like something isn't right.

before i can convince myself not to, i think of addison and what she's doing right now. probably on the beach or by the pool sipping on a pinã colada and reading a book with her little reading glasses.

i find myself smiling, and kendall giggles.

"what're you smiling about?"

the glass door of the shower is slightly fogged, so i'm surprised she can see my facial expressions.

"you," i lie. "i'm glad that you're here."

𓆉𓇽𓆉𓇽𓆉𓇽

kendall shields her face from the hot sun, so i hand her my sunglasses. she takes them gratefully and looks down at the pamphlet that the hotel offers at the desk.

"so... there's a couple things we could do today. we could go a couple miles east to a cute surf shop, or we could just hang out at the beach and—"

"hey, look," i cut her off, my eyes finding a group of three laughing all the way up the beach. "there's the others."

her smile falters, but quickly replaces when i lead her down the wooden ramp and onto the soft, white sand. i hold my hand up in a wave, and see evan grin at me. for some reason, cressida shoots a glance at addison, who still hasn't seen us yet.

she nudges her arm, and addy's eyes meet mine.
she looks away.

"hi guys," kendall nods when they approach us.

they're all sporting wet suits with the same logos on them, and cressida sees me raising my eyebrows at them.

"oh! we took a surf lesson," she laughs, motioning her head back to the water, slightly out of breath. "evan and i sucked, but addy did phenomenal."

i turn to her with a smile, to see her blushing down at the sand. "i wasn't really that good..."

cressida punches her shoulder lightly. "are you kidding? yes you were! you ate that shit up."

i laugh and try to ignore kendall's side eye to me. the expression is quickly swiped off my face.

"i'm gonna go back to the room for a nap, but call me for lunch?" evan asks, already starting the way back up the beach.

"you got it," addy calls after him, and waves a little.

the awkward silence between the four of us as we dig our feet into the sand and wait for the others to speak first.

so i do. "kendall and i were going to this souvenir shop a couple miles away. do you guys want to come with...?"

cressida and addison look to each other and seem to speak in a silent language. cressida turns back to us with an apologetic smile and says, "actually we—"

"would love to."

we all glance at addison with raised eyebrows, since it's the first time she's really spoken above a whisper. she smiles at us, and i'm relieved to see that it's genuine.

"okay, great," kendall replies back. "meet you in the lobby in 15? i'm assuming you want to change."

they look down at their wetsuits and sandy palms and laugh. "yeah. we'll see you then."

then the group splits into two directions— me with kendall, and addy with cressida.

i can't help but glance over my shoulder, and i'm slightly surprised to see addy doing the same thing.

our eyes meet, but of course she looks away.