where the water meets the moon | e.d.

fifty-one

addison

yes, i feel bad. but i can't make myself feel bad enough to the point where i stop.

he's so irresistible it's annoying.

this morning before i went into the bathroom, he caught me by the elbow and made sure no one was around before kissing me at lightning speed, and then walking away like nothing happened.

i simply smiled, trying to catch my bearings, and then continued on with my morning routine.

and when we all grabbed fishing poles and stood out in the sweltering sun for an hour or so, i caught him looking at me frequently. but as soon as kendall would turn to him, he would look away and pretend to engage in conversation.

seeing them be constantly around each other and affectionate doesn't make me doubt ethan's feelings for me, because i can just tell he's faking it. i can tell by the way he hesitates before any time he touches her, or when he forces a smile and a laugh when she says something that he would usually find funny.

evan seems to notice me in a much better mood than i have been these past couple weeks, and prods me about it.

"i don't know why," i shrug at his question. "guess i was just in a funk."

"well, i'm glad you're out of it," he admits before casting his pole a ways out.

"miss me?"

"very much."

i smile at the fact that i'm finally myself again, and things are seriously looking up for me. the ethan situation is handled and will be finished shortly, cressida is hopping on our boat for lunch next wednesday, kendall is clueless, and evan is in great spirits ever since his cozumel hookup.

"addison," ethan says, leaning his head off the side of the railing to see me.

"what's up?" i ask, turning to him.

i've noticed he's not been calling me addy when kendall is around, and it makes me wonder if she said something to him.

"can you bait my hook?" his eyes are gleaming with humor as he hides a smile.

i roll my eyes. one time when we were fishing, we used real live saltwater baitfish and it jumped out of my hands, causing me to scream, then i accidentally threw it overboard and they never let me bait my own hook ever again.

"i think you know how to bait a hook," i say, unbothered as i reel in my own line.

"no, i can't. i need you to do it."

kendall frowns, looking between the two of us.
"ethan, i can do it."

his eyes snap down to her, and he shakes his head.
"it's okay, never mind."

and that only makes her frown deepen, but this time it's pointed at me. i pretend to look innocent and shrug. the expression is wiped off her face and replaced with a weak smile.

"so," evan breaks the awkward tension. "who's making dinner tonight? avery refuses."

"look on the schedule," i offer.