where the water meets the moon | e.d.

thirty-two

addy (again, sorry)
— there will be a pov switch in the middle of the chapter!—

june 24, 3:14 am

"um let me think about it... no."

i giggle, trying to pry the camera away from ethan's hands, but he holds it far away from me. i reach across his lap, but he catches my arm.

"what did i say? why don't you ever just listen?"

"why would i listen to you?" i scoff and attempt to grab it again, failing. "you're just a bully that's old enough to not need a fake id."

"wow," he pretends to be hurt, and puts a hand to his chest. "i'm offended."

"good. give me the camera."

"say please?" he suggests, inching the camera closer to me.

"i'm not a child."

"but i'm older. that counts for something, right?"

"probably not much older. when's your birthday?"

"december 16, 1998," he answers.

"mine's october 10, 1999."

"fascinating," ethan says in dry sarcasm. "that's truly the only thing i was missing from my life. your birthdate."

rolling my eyes, i reach for his camera and he allows me to take it. by the number of pictures he's snapped, i'm not sure there's many left on here. i hope they all turned out good.

"ummm..." i glance around, trying to find something picture-worthy. "it's kinda dark. i can't really see anything."

"yeah, i mean what if there's like a seal on the boat and we just can't see it?"

"or a sea monster."

"that too."

but judging by the calm waters, i wouldn't say there will be a sea monster arising any time soon.

i've grown to love the feeling of the rocking boat, and i realize i'm going to miss it when i'm back at school.

"hey, you'll never guess what."

"what?"

there's a beat of silence, and i turn my head to look at him expectantly. i meet his eyes, and they shine in the dim moonlight.

they're pretty. i've never really noticed.

"so?" i raise an eyebrow. "what?"

"oh, nothing. i just got bored."

"oh," i frown. "hey, you have tattoos, right?"

he nods. "got a couple."

"did they hurt?"

"depends," he answers. "why're you asking?"

"well when we have our vacation, i kind of want to be spontaneous and get one. i asked you because you're the only one on here with tattoos."

"well," he thinks, leaning back in his seat. "the ones on my legs didn't at all. but my rib cage one and the one on my hip kind of did."

"so if i were to get one like... on my hand it wouldn't hurt?"

he holds out his palm, which i never noticed has ink on it until now. there's some numbers on his fingers and can't fold on the main part.

"mine didn't, but where on the hand?"

"i don't know," i shrug. "what if i just got a finger tat? i think my mom would kill me if i came home with anything bigger than that."

he laughs a little. "yeah, okay. that shouldn't be that bad. what do you want?"

"like... you know those minimalist ones? yeah well i want one of those little ocean waves. i think that would be cool and... symbolic?"

he raises an eyebrow. "symbolic?"

"of the trip! and my career path. i love the ocean, so why not have it tatted on me forever."

"you should get a big one right across your forehead," he says, reaching up and drawing a line from one temple to the other on my hairline.

"no," i laugh, smacking his hand down. "my dad would murder me."

"it could say no regerts or something," he offers, ignoring my previous statement.

"because i would get so many professional jobs with that tattoo," i nod sarcastically.

he shakes his head, smiling a little and turning out to the water. he stays like that for awhile, and my mind wonders what he could possibly be thinking about.

ethan

i just... can't get her laugh out of my mind.

and it's shameful.

because i love kendall, and i'm only supposed to be thinking of kendall.

i blame it on the fact that i haven't had physical contact or affection with a girl in two months, and that fact that it's the middle of the night. technically morning, but no one is really keeping track.

this is one of the longest times we've spent out here, and i don't see her itching to go back to bed. i'm not either. it's nice— peaceful.

i'm just tired.
really tired.

and that's why i keep thinking of addison's smile and how it causes me to feel a flutter in my stomach. that could just be the rocking of the boat.

and it's also why i'm no longer a distance away from her, but rather a mere inch separates our thighs. and why i feel at ease when i'm with her. and why i never feel like talking about kendall anymore, but rather hear her ramble about things that she likes.

just tired.
really tired.

she begins to talk about a book that she's reading, and something about how it reminds her of evan, but i'm only listening faintly.

the words slide past my brain, but her smooth voice sticks.

and i try to stop it, but i can't.
nothing i can do will prevent her voice from making my eyes droop and my head loll to the side. i cross my arms over my chest and keep listening to her.

and eventually the noise fades out, and i assume she's also fallen asleep.