where the water meets the moon | e.d.

forty-seven

addy

the week went by quick.

i chickened out of getting a tattoo, kendall and i became good acquaintances, cressida and i cried over the fact that we wouldn't see each other until a couple weeks, maybe a month. evan and i bickered over the small things, then ended up hugging it out and playing a game of jelly bean poker.

and ethan... well let's just say we're still friends.

one morning we were back to our usual easy talking when everyone else was up getting pancakes and juice. for a moment, i forgot that i had amazing sex with the guy only days prior.

by saturday morning, everyone is yawning in the lobby and meeting up with the boat captains who seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth the entire week.

"alright!" i hear captain avery's undeniable excitement, and flinch from the loudness of it mixed with the early morning. "rise and shine, ladies and gentlemen. it's a big day for multiple reasons."

"why's that?" ethan yawns, stretching his arms over his head.

"because we have a new member, and because addy can finally stop pulling her 'only girl' card out whenever she so pleases."

i roll my eyes playfully, but kendall laughs along with the others.

pretty soon, we're all checked out and dismissed back down to the marina and our large boats that haven't been in use for the entirety of the past week.

i've kind of missed it, honestly.

as we cram back into the smallish space, i drop my things in my room and try to ignore the sound of ethan giving kendall the official tour of everything, rundown of data collection, and help her unpack in her room.

how am i supposed to last another month like this? i simply can't do it if their relationship is shoved into my face every spare second.

i hate it. i hate that he's not mine.

after i put away all my stuff and throw my phone back in the depths of my suitcase until the middle of august, i step out of my room and close the door behind me softly.

"and yeah... so that's pretty much the official tour..." i hear ethan's voice travel out into the hallway, and i creep closer toward kendall's door.

"i'm excited," i hear her say. "this should be fun."

before i can eavesdrop any more, i rap my knuckles on the door and wait for her to tell me to come in.

when she does, i open the door halfway and slip in. my eyes travel to ethan immediately, and he smiles at me before quickly forcing it down.
but i saw.

"hey," i give a small little wave. "settling in okay?"

"yes, thank you for asking," kendall beams.

ethan reaches for something behind him, and i suddenly remember the mints i left on her pillow with a small little note.

he holds them up with an amused look. "this you?"

my mouth twitches into a smile. "yeah."

something on his face looks different, like he's trying his best to conceal an expression. i wonder what it is when i feel a presence behind me.

evan immediately wraps his arms around me from behind, leaning in to give me a kiss on the cheek as an inside joke that we have. "hi bae."

"my boyfriend's here," i announce, then laugh immediately after.

ethan's eyes look confused as they fleet between us, and i wonder if he doesn't get the joke... i feel like evan wouldn't have had to tell him that he's gay, but maybe he's just clueless, honestly.

"oh speaking of boyfriends," evan says, letting go of me. "did i tell you about the bar guy?"

i widen my eyes. "no, what happened?"

his eyes brows furrow. "i could've sworn i told you?"

"no," ethan pipes up. "you told me. very educational conversation by the way— i learned a lot."

i can't help the laugh that escapes my lips, along with evan's. so ethan isn't an idiot, and that makes me wonder why he got so weird when evan kissed me on the cheek.

"well, addy, i'll tell you about it after lunch. kendall, is there anything i can do for you?" evan asks to her.

"actually," the blonde smiles. "i was wondering if you could show me the ropes of the watch chair. ethan didn't know a ton, and i was wondering if you might? it looks so cool."

this is evan's forte.

i strive in the front deck— docking, anchoring, and avery even taught me a couple engine controls, while evan could sit up in that elevated chair all day and look out his binoculars. ethan hasn't really found his "thing" yet, but he eats a lot of snacks and calls that his contribution.

"yeah, totally," evan nods and they both leave out the room.

that leaves me and ethan.

the stuffy air between us seems even thicker than ever as he pretends to be really interested in the bedspread, and i kick my feet against the floorboards.

we haven't spent any time alone just the two of us since... you know. the silence is deafening, and suddenly i just can't stand it anymore.

"so, i was thinking—" i begin to say, but at the same time, he says, "hey what if we—"

both of us stop, and he laughs shortly. "you first."

i motion my hand to him. "all good, you first."

"no, you can go."

"no seriously it wasn't that important."

"okay fine," he sighs a little. "um, i was just going to say that we should grill something for dinner tonight. since it's kendall's first day on the boat."

right. what he wanted to talk about was kendall.

i part my lips as i say, "yeah, okay. why are you telling me this?"

he shrugs. "avery doesn't really listen to me or evan. you're his favorite."

and that's the total truth, because i'm the only one that will listen to his sailer stories and help him with the grueling jobs with maintaining the boat. evan and ethan kind of just... sit there.

"so you want me to tell him to grill something?" i ask.

"if you could."

"yeah," i nod, already turning out of the room. "i can."

"and addison?"

this stops me in my tracks, and i slowly look over my shoulder at him. he smiles a little, and looks down to the lilac purple cropped t shirt i'm wearing.

"that color looks nice on you."