I am lost || KILLUGON

Future

One week later

After deciding on going to Yorknew city to go and become nen masters, Killua and Gon had found a place to settle for a while until they were ready for their next adventure.

"This is going to be great, I'm excited to meet new people" Gon said as he laid in bed.

"Yea but they aren't always going to be good people" Killua got on top of Gon and began to kiss all over Gon's face.

Their kiss began to deepen, Killua held Gon's hands down on the bed. He kissed his jaw and went down to his neck, although Gon was enjoying it he felt his heart beat faster.

Killua moved his right hand into Gon's shirt giving Gon goosebumps and shivers down his body. Gon had his eyes closed as he began to feel panic and his breath became short.

Wait, why am I feeling like this?

Gon couldnt seem to be able to talk. Killua continued to kiss Gon, until Gon finally was able to move his body and push Killua off and moved his entire body to the back of the bed

"Stop- I-" without being able to finish his sentence Killua realized Gon was having and panic attack

"I'm so sorry Gon, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable" Killua wanted to reach for Gon but knew it wasn't going to help at the moment

"I'm sorry Ki. I just-"Gon said as he tried to catch his breath

"Shh no it's okay, I should have asked if you were comfortable with it." Killua said as he got a bit closer to him

"Gon look at me please" Killua said softly, Gon felt tears reach his eyes causing him to look at Killua blurry

"It's going to be okay, I'm here. We don't have to do anything you don't like" Killua placed his hand on top of Gon.

Gon felt himself calm down again, having that safety feeling come back slowly.

"I'm sorry Killua, I want to please you but I can't"

"Gon, I promise I don't need sex for you to please me. And I'll never force you to do anything you don't like or feel uncomfortable with" Gon looked at Killua who gave him a reassuring smile.

After he calmed down, Gon climbed on top of Killua's lap and wrapped his legs around him. He placed his face in Killua's neck and sniffed while he sobbed softly.

Killua hugged him and rubbed his back as he rocked back and forth softly to help Gon calm down.

"I'm sorry" Gon said softly

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. I love hugging you anyway" Killua said

"I love hugging you too" Gon said.

Without noticing Gon fell asleep in Killua's arms, Killua put him down on the bed and turned off the lights. He got under the covers with Gon and pulled him close to his body again and went to sleep.

One month later

Gon had started therapy for about a month for his trauma that had happened years ago. Killua continued to teach nen, Alluka and Cho had actually left their city to go visit their favorite boys without them knowing.

A knock on the door and Killua answered.

"Surprise!" Alluka and Cho said at the same time

"Alluka! Cho! Oh my god you should have told us you were coming. Come inside" Killua stepped to the side for them to come in.

"Well we wanted to surprise you, and we also have business here" Cho explained

"Yea we have a project coming up and it's with a big corporation" Alluka said clapping her hands.

"Where is Gon?" Cho said

"He's working right now, but he'll come home soon actually" Killua said as we grabbed some drinks for them

"How have you two been? I know I hardly check on you, this job is exhausting but I like it a lot" Alluka said

"We are fine, I'm really happy with Gon" Killua said, Gon then walked inside.

"I'm home" Gon then noticed Cho and Alluka, they hugged and greet each other.

They all went out to eat and walked around the city.

Gon noticed a baby who started to cry in the arms of their mother. Gon picked up the toy the baby had dropped and handed it to the baby.

"Oh my goodness I didnt notice she'd drop that. Thank you"

"You welcome" The baby girl calmed down and smiled at Gon. The baby extended their small hand and Gon let her wrap her small hand around his finger and giggled.

—

Killua and Gon got home and Alluka and Cho went to their hotel that was given by the company they worked with.

As Killua and Gon laid in bed, Killua noticed and felt that Gon was more gloomy than usual.

"Are you alright Gon?" Killua said as he kissed his forehead.

"Are you sure you want to be with me?" Gon asked softly

"Where did this question come from?" Killua said as he sat up and looked at Gon

"I can't give you any kids of your own" Gon said sitting up and fidgeted with his hands, he tried to avoid eye contact

"Of course you can't Gon, you're a male. We will need a female, or we can always adopt" Killua said as he lifted his chin and kissed him softly "That doesn't mean I want you any less."

"I'm still not ready to.. you know. Or to have any kids, it's just a thought."Gon said slyly

"Gon, I don't need sex for you to please me. And you're still healing, I'll be there every step of the way. I'm not exactly ready for kids either but when we are we will try." he pulled Gon into hug and gave him multiple small kisses on his face

Killua let him go and grabbed his face and looked into his eyes

"I love you" Killua said and gave him a soft smile. Gon's heart skipped a beat and got very excited since it was their first time saying I love you

"I love you too" he leaned in a kissed him softly.

"I'm going to over use that sentence now" Killua chuckled

They then hopped inside the bathtub and relaxed as they talked about the possible kids they could have.

"We should have three" Gon said

"Adopt, or have someone give birth to them?"

"Both" Gon said, Killua hugged him from behind and kissed his cheek

"Alright baby"