Chasing Wild Redamancy

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Terminate

Hindi magkamayaw sa panginginig ang aking kamay sa aking kandungan, even my lungs cooperated in the situation, I can't breathe, that I need to have a countless deep breath just to get rid of the lump on my throat.

"It's...positive," nanghihina niyang utas.

Kasabay ng paninigas ng aking katawan ay ang panlulumo sa aking dibdib. May kung anong bumagsak sa aking pagkatao, naging pira-piraso hanggang sa maging abo, na hindi na maibabalik pa.

"Oh my..."

Tuluyan na akong humikbi at tinago ang mukha sa aking mga palad. I shook my head and cry out loud.

"Jumi...No," I mumbled. "This can't be..."

My shoulders move as I cried harder. I have so many dreams, nagsisimula palang ako. Hindi puwede 'to.

Jumi jogged towards me and engulfed me into a hug.

"Jumi..." sambit ko na para bang mareresulba ang aking malaking problema sa pag sambit ng kaniyang pangalan.

She did not utter words but caressed my back as if protecting me from the up coming disaster. The thoughts rumbled on my mind and become chaotic, hindi ako makapag isip ng maayos at walang magawa kung hindi ay umiyak.

I know a baby is a blessing, but heaven forgive me, not right now. This is all my fault, kung sana ay nakinig lang ako kay David, kung sana ay mas inahon ko ang sarili sa pagkakalunod baka nakasalba ako. Kung sana...but that was all useless now, the 'what ifs' and 'I told you's' wouldn't solve anything.

Maybe this all my fault, I was seeking for too much informations, I was too curious on how things works that the line of limitations become blurry and forgotten. There's nothing wrong about finding out things, to open the sealed books of information, but it's all about limitations.

Like the famous writer have said; Humans has two main great problems; first is knowing where to begin and second, knowing where to stop.

"I want an abortion," I said with determination and finality.

Natigil si Jumi sa pag hagod sa aking likod at tila nanigas sa kaniyang kinauupuan.

"Sino ang magpapa abort?!"

Parehas kaming napalingon sa bagong dating na si Kin. Gitatal siya ngunit may bakas ng pagka disgusto at gulo sa kaniyang mukha.

"K-Kin," nanghihina kong usal.

The tears keep flowing on my cheeks, mariin akong napapikit...hindi ko alam, they said problems are meant to be solve...but right now, hindi ko alam kung kaya ko bang lumikha ng isang solusyon, it was like I'm in a dark room and the four walls were hardly pressed on me, 'yung tipong wala na akong takas.

"Who wants an Abortion?" ulit niya bago nagpalipat lipat sa amin ang tingin.

"Mj?" she asked being confused. "May kailangan ba akong malaman?"

Tinakasan ako ng boses at natakot sa maari niyang maging reaksyon, even Jumi did not do anything to solve Kin's confusion.

Humikbi ako at umiling.

"I-I'm pregnant, Kin..." sambit ko ng hindi na makayanan ang namumuong tensyon.

Isang singhap ang aking nakuha mula sa kaniya, ramdam ko din ang pagiging istatwa nya sa kinatatayuan.

"Putangina," she whispered.

Tumayo si Jumi hindi alam ang gagawin, kung pupunta ba kay Kin para ipaliwanag dito ang nangyari o mauupo sa tabi ko upang aluhin ako.