Malaya [ON-GOING]

# 39

# 39

[Paul's]

It was already evening when the group decided to go and proceed sa bar. Kanina pa hinahanap ng mata ko si Kath pero hindi ko siya mahagilap.

Anna's been too harsh. And me? I can't help myself not to cry as Kath sang.

I know that her song's meant for me. The message signifies, us. Our relationship. The hidden relationship rather.

Anna's been tricking Kath. Nakakahalata na siya, I know. And I don't care. I don't even agreed with us, coming back again. I just don't know what to do.

Smiles, laughs. Fuck they're fake. Because I know who's the person who can really make me smile and make me genuinely happy. And that's Kath.

As we were on the way to the bar, Anna pulled me. Pumunta kami sa may dalampasigan.

"So why did you cry a while ago? Huh?" she asked.

I stared at her, leaving no voice as my answer. I know she knows the answer. Hinihintay niya lang na manggaling sa boses ko yung iniintay at hinihingi niyang sagot.

"For Pete's sake, Paul! Ano ba? Can't you see my effort? Can't you see how badly I want us to go back to where we've started? Now, fucking tell me, bakit ka umiyak kanina nung nakanta si Kath? Why?!" she exclaimed, even being too hysterical.

"Wanna know the answer? Well, I was moved with the song. Happy?"

And she slapped me. She even started to cry.

"Asshole! Alam kong hindi iyon yung sagot." she shouted.

"Then if you really know, bakit mo pa ako pinipilit Anna?! Bakit mo pinipilit na sabihin ko yung iniintay mong sagot kung alam mo na naman pala?!"

"FUCK THAT BITCH! Inaahas ka niya sakin! Tangina Paul, nandito ako! Bakit harap-harapan mo kong niloloko? Bakit harap-harapan niyo kong niloloko?!" she exclaimed and cried harder.

"Did I ever lie to you? Or you just assumed that I want this comeback?"

Noong sinabi ko 'yon, natigilan siya. Please, Anna. Ayaw ko na.

This ain't part of bro code pero, masama bang mapagod? Dapat bang laging lalaki ang aamo sa babae? I mean, yes, I'm an asshole. Loving Kath kahit hindi pa kami tapos ni Anna. I know that. And I can't forgive myself either.

But with the Anna right now? I feel choked. It feels like her presence and her 'love' have been wrapping around my neck and they're beginning to tighten.

"Anong sinabi mo?"

"Did I ever say 'yes' noong pinipilit mo at nagmamakaawa ka saking magkabalikan tayo?"

She slapped me again. And again. And again. I won't argue. I fucking deserve those.

"Akala ko mahal mo ko. Akala ko gusto mo pang magkabalikan tayo. Akala ko gusto mo pang bumalik yung dating tayo. Pero pinaasa mo ko?" she calmly said.

"Hindi kita pinaasa, Anna. I am begging and asking for a break up yet you are the one who keeps on believing that we can still rebuild this broken relationship."

I don't know why, but my tears started to fall again. This is the first time I became so genuine with my feelings.

"No, no! No! This ain't happening! No!!!!!!!" she turned her back on me at dumiretso na sa loob ng hotel.

"Fuck!!! Fuck!!!!! Fuck!!!!!!!"

I can't help but to kick the sand and just let my tears fall! Fuck! I fucking hate my life! Bakit kailangang maging komplikado nito? Bakit?