What If It Was All Fake... (Depressed Deku X Todoroki)

-Chapter 35- I can't I'm sorry

-Izuku's POV-

I can't...

I can't smile anymore...

Not even a fake one...

I can't move...

I don't really want to...

I can't talk...

I close my eyes.

This world we're we all live is... awful.

Life hates me...

"It's gonna be alright... I'm taking you home. Everything will be ok. You'll get through this." Shoto whispered in my ear. I feel my feets getting off the ground. I can feel Shoto's arms pick me up in bridal style.

I close my eyes and lean in his chest. I don't ever want to open my eyes again...

The walk is long. I can hear people laugh. I can feel their smile. Why isn't my life like this...?

I hear the door being locked. We are in this house. This house where I lived all my life. I open my eyes slowly. Everything seems dull, boring, annoying, uninteresting. Why did he have to leave like mom did? Why can't I be happy for once? I really felt like things were getting better...

guess I was wrong...

Shoto put me back on my bed. I curl up in a ball. "Get out. Please." I whispered. My voice sounded empty and really tired. Sometimes my voice would betray my smiles.

He walked out and closed the door behind him. I was left alone in my room. I sat up. I was still in a ball position but at the edge off my bed. I buried my face in my knees. I slowly made my way to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me.

I walked to the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. I opened a drawer and took my big cutter out. No. Not a blade. A whole ass cutter. I don't even care if I die of if I pass out. Nothing matters anymore...

If it weren't for Shoto, I would have been dead a while ago.

I want to let all pain out. I want to scream and break things. I want to cry until I pass out from dehydration. But I can't... I can't cry.

I was sober. Because of Ishiro's miraculous tricks I became sober from cutting. I'm going to ruin those efforts. I don't even care. I slice my skin open. I cut everywhere where I could see skin. My thighs, my chest, my stomach, my whole legs, my ankles and finally my wrists.

There was blood everywhere. I didn't care. I sat down on the cold white floor. I left my cuts in the fresh air. I didn't clean nor did I clean or bandaged them. I don't care if I get and infection.

I just want to end it all. If life keeps torturing me, then why am I still alive?

Bakugo's bullying made my life harder.

Mom's death made my life a living hell.

Ishiro's death took away my hope and my will to live.

Life is just way too painful...

                  -1 week later-

It's been a week since Ishiro's death. I haven't eaten anything. I only drank a little bit of water. Shoto cane everyday to give me some food and a water bottle. I didn't eat anything though. He even made my favourite meals but I couldn't even move to grab the food. I didn't feel like moving or eating.

He hugged me. I didn't cry at all. I wasn't feeling anything. Neither sadness or anger. I just felt empty. No life left in me. My soul was dead but I was still here. I had a feeling of emptiness like someone took a piece out of me.

I didn't move at all. I was still curled up in a ball. I would sometimes move to take a shower and cut. I was constantly curled up in a little ball. I wasn't able to sleep. I didn't listen to music. I didn't sing. I haven't trained a single bit. I was staring blankly at my desk that was beside my bed.

I feel like shit.

I just want to die...

I'm sorry Ishiro...

I'm really sorry...

I can't smile anymore...