Black

Chapter 50

Jason

What the fuck is she doing here? I'm afraid its coincidence, but I'm glad I spotted her here. She looks very lovely in her blue wrapped dress, that revealed a little to much cleavage for my sake. The man that accompanies her reaches closer taking her hand in his. He eyes her like she's a puppy. What the fuck! Does she forgot about me already? A sting of jealousy krept under my skin, activating my nerves to wait for the inevitable explosion that wants to erupt.

"Come on dear. What are you staring at?" Michelle questions me with a frown, pulling me out of my dark thoughts. If my eyes were guns I would have shot that guy between his fucking eyes. "I'm coming." I tell her firmly, taking her hand in mine and leading her to our table. Annoyed by the situation I quickly order a whisky. Why am I feeling that way! That's what I wanted all along. She's moving on with her life with another man. I knew she wouldn't wait and I'm glad she didn't because now I understand. You always want the things you can't get. I was stupid to think I would stand above the feeling, above my growing jealousy that I've never felt before.

She never belonged to me and she never will. "Is there something wrong Jason?" Michelle's voice sounded unsure. She knows what I'm capable of and that's why she talks silently to me, hoping it wouldn't piss me off. "Of course." I answer roughly sipping from my glass. I can't even enjoy the taste of it because those two on the other side of the restaurant are keeping me on edge. Suddenly in the corner of my eye I see Rose standing from her seat and walking to the restroom. This is my shot.

"Will you order something for me?" I order Michelle before exciting the table. She knows what I want to eat because she always wanted to have dinner at Ginno's. I don't know why but she kept going to this place with me for years.

I walk with big strides passed there table seeing the little prick looking at his phone. If I just let my hand slip a little further I could smack his head. For fuck's sake Jason calm down, I thought to myself. I wait patiently in the corridor of the restroom. After two minutes she opens the door and bumps against my wide torso. Always her eyes downcast when she walks. She needs to gain more confidence because she hasn't have one reason to keep that pretty face down.

"Rose." I greet her stern, eyeing her closely. She was wearing makeup all just for him. She dressed herself up like she did for me. A pain shoots through my heart. A pain that I've never felt before. "Jason, can I pass please? My guest is waiting." She responds harshly. "Your guest huh. Who is he?" I question her roughly. "Its non of your business Jason." She snaps at me. She tried to pass me, but I cut her off stepping in front of her. "Jason let me pass!" She hisses. "No, who is he Rose? I want his name." I order her.

"Do you think for one second I would give you his name?! And tell John that I don't want his visits in front of my house every night! I know you've ordered him to do so." She tells me roughly. I step a little closer until she feels trapped. Rose roughly places her palms on my chest, trying to get some distance between us. Her warm hands on my chest feels good, almost welcoming. I've missed her warmth badly, I can't deny that.

"I need you to be safe Rose." I say frustrated about her lack of understanding. Its not like I'm watching her the whole time. Well I wanted to, but she was to smart to demolish all of my camera equipment. Not that I wanted to stalk her, to see her naked. You never know there's a burglar inside the house. I want to keep an eye on her.

"You're a sick man Jason!" Now she yells with a higher voice. Luckily there's enough music from the building beside us that nobody could hear our conversation. "Rose I'm sorry for the camera's. It was only meant to keep an eye on you." I tell her firmly. "Right, I believe you." She laughs wickedly. Who's this woman now? Who made her like this? The venom coming towards me like I'm the prey now. I think I'm the cause for her outbursts now. I'm the one hurting her and it needs to stop.

"I'm sorry Rose. I won't bother you anymore." I explain her softly, hoping she would except my apology. "You're a crazy son of a bitch you know that right! Why are you stalking me? Why can't you just leave me alone like you've asked me to do?! You wanted this and now you're mad at me!" She tried to breath in and out through her nose. Seeing her upset like this hurts, but it hurts more walking away from her.

"You're right. I was selfish. I'm an idiot okay!" I tell her roughly. She stares at me in utter shock. Me apologizing to her was something I had never done before. Realizing I had made a mistake has become my biggest problem. I didn't want to see how happy she always made me. Coming home and seeing her face after a rough day was like a bright sun warming me while freezing. She kept me going after dad died. She occupied my mind the whole time. She never left me. I left her.

Rose starts crying. I don't know why, but I couldn't handle this. I'm a fucking sick person that fucked her up. I crushed her without looking back. I'm a fucking coward for not wanting to feel something. To letting my mask taking control over my heart. "I won't bother you anymore, and I'm truly sorry for everything. I'll always appreciate what you've done for me." I explain her softly, brushing my hand gently on her arms. Hoping she would see I was telling the truth. My dad would be ashamed of how I treated her.

She roughly yanks her arm away. "I don't want your sympathy. You broke me when I needed you the most. I'll never forgive you for that." She tells me before storming out of my sight.

I quickly walk to the table where Michelle's patiently waiting for my arrival. "Michelle we're leaving now." I tell her rudely. She looks at me with confusion in her eyes, but she didn't dare to question me. She nods and stands up from her seat. I help her in her coat and drink my glass in one gulp setting it back on the table a little to rough. People eyeing at me from the noise.

I don't give a fuck about what everyone thinks of me. I only care about what Rose will do with him. I can't stand to stay in the same room as them. I would demolish his face when I see him looking at her like no man would ever got the chance to when she was with me. But she isn't with me and I can only blame myself for it.

I look at Michelle her worried expression when she takes my hand. She's the least of my worries right now. I'll bring her home without staying at hers. I won't fuck her because I know I will see only one face before me.

She tears me open without her even noticing what she does to me. How can she sees how I feel about this whole situation as I block her before she can reach the wall I've build for myself. She has more power over me she could've ever known. So I'm fucked. I'm a slave to her. I'll never forgive myself for letting her leave. Now I need to deal with the biggest mistake I've ever made.